Torn
by Slidell
Summary: Kinsey's accusations against O'Neill and Carter's relationship are investigated. The two officers are falsely accused of breaking regulations and Carter is sent to Area 51, leaving SG-1 torn apart. But what happens next? S/J. Spoilers to early Season 8.
1. Kinsey's Last Word

**Torn**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Stargate or the characters. This is just an outlet for the imagination.

**Summary: **What if Kinsey's little bit of input during "Inauguration" had been taken seriously? What if to appease the powers that be, the President had allowed SG-1 to be broken up by taking Major Carter off the team? Set after 'Lost City' and 'New Order', becoming AU from there. How would SG-1, and better yet Jack and Sam, cope in the aftermath? Blatant S/J ship.

**Warnings: **Contains spoilers up to the beginning of Season 8 of SG-1 and possibly SGA Season 1. Language.

**Chapter 1: Kinsey's Last Word **

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Fine, Daniel, for the trillionth time, I feel fine." Jack replied, losing patience as always.

Daniel raised his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, just making sure Thor got everything out again."

"He did. Now cut it out."

"Cut what out?" Sam asked, taking a seat beside Daniel. The commissary was filled with the usual breakfast crowd.

"Nothin'." Jack retorted quickly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I was just making sure he was back to normal."

"The medical report says everything is fine. Colonel O'Neill's brain is…Colonel O'Neill's brain." Sam gave a small frown as she pondered the thought. Daniel couldn't hold back a chuckle and both earned a reprimanding glance.

"Teal'c! Over here." Jack called as his friend entered the room.

Teal'c made his way over to the table and sat himself on the end seat. "O'Neill, Major Carter, Dr. Jackson."

"Hey Teal'c."

"Good morning."

"I have been informed by Dr. Weir that we are all to report to the debriefing room in one hour." Teal'c updated everyone.

"Great." Jack mumbled.

"Did she say what it was about?" Daniel questioned with his eyebrows raised high.

"She did not."

Daniel's mouth formed an 'o'. "Oh, okay, just curious."

"Probably just going over the report about the Replicators." Sam offered.

Teal'c inclined his head. "Perhaps."

SG-1 finished their breakfast and then attended to anything else the half hour they had remaining would allow. They had no idea that they had just finished their last meal as a team.

* * *

Dr. Weir was already seated at the head of the meeting table when SG-1 arrived, and she wasn't alone. Mr. Woolsey was seated just to her left with several large folders in tow.

"SG-1, if you will all please have a seat." She instructed politely. But there was something in her voice that made them all sit a little straighter, and with a little less ease. It had been hard to accept her leadership at first, but with her actions in the past few weeks, they were beginning to grow to trust her. The man beside her however, was another story. Ever since his little interrogation stint, he had become an unwelcome face at Cheyenne Mountain.

"Dr. Weir…Woolsey." Jack greeted with an unpleasant drawl.

Woolsey picked his head up a little higher and looked back to his papers. "I've been sent to speak to you directly. Former Vice President Kinsey…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jack waved his hands for reinforcement. "Former?" He turned his glance to Carter, seated at his side.

"Sorry, Sir. You were, uh, well frozen." She winced as his eyes only grew wider as his face came forward to be sure.

"So he's…"

"For lack of a better term, Colonel, he's been fired." Woolsey broke in and quickly regained the Colonel's attention. "Of course as far as the rest of America is concerned he merely resigned for personal reasons."

Jack grew a smug smile and sat back with his hands behind his head. "Well this may be by far the best meeting we've ever had."

"Don't be too sure, Colonel." Woolsey warned.

Dr. Weir's expression fell and she clasped her hands on top of the table. "Mr. Woolsey is here to see SG-1, and only SG-1, for reasons that are less that good news I'm afraid."

Every face at the opposite end of the table looked to each other. Teal'c's brow rose, Daniel's eyes narrowed, Jack's grew hesitant and Sam bit her lip.

Daniel spoke for all of them. "What's going on?"

"As I was saying before I was interrupted…" Woolsey began as Jack swallowed hard. "Before his…retirement, Former Vice President Kinsey informed the President of a grave matter. Now, the President was hesitant to believe this issue, but as Kinsey had brought it up with other high ranking officials in the Stargate Program and its outer branches, including Homeworld Security and our foreign partners, we were forced to do some deeper investigating."

Daniel leaned over the table. "Further investigating into what?"

Woolsey took a deep breath. "Into the relationship between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter."

"The what?" Daniel looked like he had just been pranked, and glanced quickly from Jack to Sam with a smile on his face. But their expressions were less than amused. He saw fear hidden in their eyes.

"Robert Kinsey believed that there was more than plutonic friendship between Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill, and as such allegations were made, there was an investigation. While nothing was found to completely support the allegation, nothing was found to completely negate it either."

"That's because there's nothing to find." Jack's face was severe.

"I'm afraid that wasn't the conclusion we found, Colonel."

"This is ridiculous." Sam interjected. "There's nothing going on between Colonel O'Neill and myself…I mean, I have a…"

"We know about your personal relationship with Pete Shannahan, Major. And that was taken into account. However, some believed it to be a good cover."

Sam's face screwed up in confusion, she had nothing else with which to reply. She was still completely caught off guard.

"Don't you think you should have discussed this with Jack and Sam instead of brining it up in front of other people?" Daniel's anger was not hidden in his voice as he stood up for his friends.

Before Woolsey could reply, Dr. Weir began to speak. "Mr. Woolsey wouldn't have been allowed to break this news in front of all of you unless the consequences hadn't affected all of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Daniel asked with a sarcastic smile.

"It means that SG-1 was going to find out eventually when they realized that Major Carter was no longer a part of the team."

O'Neill stood up from the table. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"There was a choice to be made Colonel O'Neill. You were considered to invaluable as a field officer. Likewise, it was determined that Major Carter would still be of great service to the Stargate Program because of her scientific skill and knowledge of the Stargate. She will be removed from SG-1 and placed elsewhere where these skills will be of their greatest use."

Sam stuttered. "You can't…"

"They already have Major." Weir shot her a sympathetic glance. "I spoke to the President myself, I'm afraid nothing else can be done."

"But.."

"Major Carter, as of this moment, you are no longer a member of SG-1."


	2. Appeasement

**Appeasement **

"This is insane!"

"Colonel, believe me, I'm no happier about this than you are. And I'm more than a little perturbed that the President allowed you both to be informed like this; especially you Major. But I didn't have any say." Dr. Weir was seated in her office, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter standing as far apart as possible in front of her desk.

"There has to be an ulterior motive." Sam tried to reason. "I mean, breaking up the team over an unproved and _untrue_ regulations offense?"

"Major, if there is one thing I've learned in the short time that I've known about the Stargate Program, it's that some people will go as far as they can to get what they want."

"Well we didn't!" Both women quickly turned to O'Neill. "I mean…" Jack shook his head at his poor choice of words. "…what I'm trying to say is that Carter and I never broke any rules. Ever. So where the hell are they getting this so called 'evidence' from?"

"Mr. Woolsey thought you'd want to know. As bitter a man as he seems, I'm not all that convinced that he agrees with the decision that was made."

"Oh, I'm sure." Jack replied sardonically, reaching out for the folder Weir was now prompting him with.

As he began to flip through the pages, he never let his façade alter. But as he recalled each mission, he remembered. His refusal to allow Carter to be taken off of life support when the electric based entity had taken over her body, after he had been forced to zat her. There was the time when he and Maybourne had been trapped on a moon; Bill and his big mouth. They brought up the fact that they had been trapped alone together in Antarctica, and at the same time completely failed to mention that he had been near death practically the entire time. Reports of alternate universes glazed his eyes with a Dr. Carter engaged or married to his alternate counterpart. Other occasions in which emotions hadn't been able to be left out of the report were highlighted as well. When he got to the part of the report that was questioning the exact outcome of their zatarc testing, he snapped the folder shut. Not one of these incidences showed a blatant disregard for the rules, not a single one, but together…together a picture was being painted. "Well when you edit it to show what you want!" Jack barked out and passed the folder gruffly to Sam.

Weir stared at them both sympathetically. "That's what I said."

Sam kept the same expression as she listened while looking over the report herself. Her eyes were round and her mouth tight. "This doesn't prove anything." She shook her head and tossed the folder to the edge of the desk in front of her.

The three stayed in silence as Dr. Weir gathered her thoughts. She knew what she had to say, but she didn't want to do it. "Major, I really do not want to do this, but I have my orders…"

"It's okay." Sam prompted.

Jack just rolled his eyes and turned to the wall as Dr. Weir handed Sam her new assignment. He heard Carter's breath catch as she opened the folder and read what, and where, she was to be assigned. Dr. Weir wouldn't have heard it though. She was good at hiding those things from others, but after all those years side by side…he could tell from that small intake of breath just how much the words in that folder had hurt her. If there had been something nearby for him to hit, he would have.

"I'll give you all the time you need to get everything straitened out." Elizabeth said with a comforting voice, not that it was helping.

"Thank you, Doctor." And without further word, Sam walked out of the office, leaving the door open behind her in her distraction.

Jack had turned to watch her go but she never looked towards him. He began to head for the exit as well but stopped in the doorway. He didn't turn around, but continued to face the corridor outside the office. "They must really hate us to sink this low."

"I'm not so sure it's you they hate Colonel. But I do agree; this is some form of appeasement for those who are unhappy with the way the Stargate Program was and is being run. And I'm sorry for my part in that."

"And what part would that be?" Jack was curious as to why the woman behind him felt she had anything to do with the decision.

"Because…I sided with you. They're not completely sure they made the right decision to appoint me now."

Jack took a second. "If you hadn't, we might not be here right now." And with that he walked away. Dr. Weir's choice to support SG-1 had helped to finally defeat Anubis, and he wasn't going to fault her for that.

* * *

Sam stood in her lab, staring at the numerous projects that lay unfinished. She was supposed to be cleaning up shop, leaving notes on her calculations and where she had left off on each file, and boxing away her personal belongings. Her locker, she thought, it needed to be cleaned out as well. She had given up on being depressed at the moment; she was going to stick with anger. Woolsey's words echoed in her head…_Major Carter, as of this moment_... "This is insane." She said to herself.

"Teal'c and I keep saying the same thing."

Sam turned around to find Daniel standing in her doorway. "Daniel?"

"I just came to find you. Jack's locked himself away somewhere, we can't find him. Teal'c isn't giving up though, you know him."

"I think he just needs some time." Sam started. "He's probably trying to convince himself this is his fault." All Sam could think was that it was hers.

"Sam, this is no one's fault aside from Kinsey." Daniel corrected her, and she stared at him, as if he had read her thoughts. "And how he convinced people that you…and Jack…" Daniel rolled his eyes. The idea, in his mind, was absurd.

"Well, he did." Sam picked up a folder only to slap it back down on the counter. "Daniel, maybe now isn't the best time." Her glance drifted to him. She was barely holding her composure.

"You need any help?"

"No, I've got it. I need to keep busy; otherwise I'll have too much time to think about it." Too much time to think about what had led to this very moment. What couldn't be controlled.

"Are you being put on a different team?"

"No."

"Stuck in the lab?"

"You could say that." Sam looked at her friend with the eyes of someone whose dreams had been swept out from under them. "Of course, they think that to make their point, it should be a lab that's…not here."

"Have they said where, or when?"

"Nevada. Three weeks."

Daniel looked to the cold concrete floor, observing every crease in the leather of his boots. "For how long?" He raised his gaze and watched as a small twinkle of a tear formed in the corner of her eye but refused to spill over.

"It's permanent, Daniel."

* * *

"O'Neill?"

"Over here, Teal'c."

The jaffa searched through the steel lockers to find his friend and leader sitting hunched forward on a bench, head in his hands. "Are you well O'Neill?"

Jack scrubbed his face with his hands as he rose up. "No Teal'c, I don't think I am."

"Have you been informed of the team which Major Carter is to be transferred to?"

"No." Jack studied his hands before he stood. "And I'm not sure she'll be transferred to another SG team."

"I do not understand, O'Neill. Major Carter has done nothing wrong. Why is she being punished for something that there is no physical or recorded proof of?"

"Physical or recorded?"

Teal'c paused, and suddenly his demeanor took on one of condolence and understanding that he did not often show, except to his team mates. "I have been aware of your feelings for Major Carter for some time now."

Colonel O'Neill was taken aback. "Teal'c, that really isn't going to help matters…"

"And I am also aware that you have never acted on those feelings."

"Try telling that to the oversight folks." Jack replied exasperated.

"What I do not understand is why you are not speaking up on this matter."

"I'm a bit afraid that doing that may just harm the situation; for Carter."

Teal'c studied Jack's expression. Explanation could very well lead to exposing something that would only hinder their cause. Teal'c bowed his head. "Understood."

Jack clapped his hands on his thighs and then raised them together, his mood visibly altered, only his friends would know something ate away beneath the surface. "What do you say we go and see what Carter's sentence is?" His wry smile showed his distaste for his choice of words.

* * *

Jack and Teal'c had made it down the several levels to the floor where Sam's lab was located. Making their way down the hall, they found a very distracted Daniel walking towards them. It took him a moment to realize that it was the rest of his team headed in his direction.

"Teal'c, you found him."

"Indeed Daniel Jackson."

"Jack can they really send her there?"

O'Neill's eyebrows shot up as he took a more solid stance. "Send her _where_?"

"Wait…they didn't tell you? Sam didn't?"

"No one told me anything other than the fact that my team is being broken down over complete nonsense! Where the hell are they sending her?"

Daniel's voice was scared away from Jack's harshness, and the single word answer was only a whisper. "Nevada."

"Son of a bitch." Jack growled as he pushed by Daniel and marched down the corridor.

"Carter!"

"Sir?" Sam turned, obviously stunned, as Jack rushed into the room, Teal'c and Daniel shortly after.

"Nevada?"

"Yes Sir. Research and Development."

"Bureaucratic bastards…"

Daniel coughed and raised his finger. "I'm sorry, but isn't there some way that this can be appealed?"

"No, Daniel. This was signed off by the President himself. And seeing as this command is so top secret that it technically doesn't exist…there isn't much else we can do." Sam said, rationalizing with herself at the same time. This was final, and only she and Jack realized it. As only they were realizing the situation in its entirety.

* * *

Sam made it through the rest of the day with little interruption. There were no stares, no curious glances. Dr. Weir had respected Sam's privacy, and Jack's for that matter, by keeping the situation confidential. By the time the rest of the base found out, Sam would be far away. And that was how she wanted it. She was sure that there would be rumors. There were always rumors. But this was different. This time it was rumors that had led to her losing the career of her dreams, and her family.

That thought made her suddenly think of Jacob. What would her father say when he found out? If he found out. The Tok'ra were not known for their regular visits. She was sure that if and when Jacob found out, this wound, if it ever healed, would be ripped at the seams to hurt once again.

She was thinking of her father, and wondering if he would be disappointed in her or the system, as she made her way off the base. Dr. Weir had told her that she was more than welcome to stay in the labs until she was required at the Groom Lake facility, but the paid three weeks leave had sounded more appealing. Her notes were left in the main science lab, and her personal belongings were being cradled in a box in her arms. She stepped onto the elevator, awkwardly pressed the button with her elbow, and leaned against the back wall.

Her prayers for a nonstop exit were unanswered, and the carriage came to a halt. She looked down at the box in her arms, hoping against all odds that whoever was getting on wouldn't notice her or ask questions. She felt the thud of the floor as her fellow passenger got on in silence, and stood in front of her.

The doors shut, but the person who had gotten on continued to stand directly facing her. She felt something, a familiarity. Slowly, Sam craned her head up, and found herself unsurprised by the pair of brown eyes staring back at her.

"Carter…I'm sorry."

"For what, Sir? This isn't your fault."

Jack reached up and quickly rubbed his nose as he looked to the side. "Well, in a way it sorta is."

Once he returned her gaze, Sam replied. "Well, in a way it's sorta my fault for the same reason."

They stared at each other for a good long moment, eyelids heavy with emotion, but there were no words. Sam finally closed her eyes tight and hung her head. Then she felt the weight of the box in her arms begin to lighten. "I've got it, Sir."

"Carter, give me the damn box." Sam looked up at him with a pinched brow. Her shock allowed him the opportunity to remove the box from her arms and then move himself to where he was leaning on the wall beside hers. He leaned his head to the side and watched her stare at him. "You don't have to be tough as nails with me. I know you are, but you don't have to be."

Sam gave him brief flicker of a smile. She exhaled audibly. "Yes Sir."

**A/N: Thank you everyone for your reviews and alerts! I was shocked to open my email box this morning! I quite enjoyed it actually lol. Please feel free to leave me a note again, I love reviews! **


	3. Breakaway

**Breakaway **

Sam sat in her driveway, staring at the box in the passenger seat where Jack had placed it. Their goodbye had been awkward. It hadn't been so hard in a long time, but tonight, it was. Jack had fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck and Sam had chewed on her lip. When an airman on watch had finally made his rounds close to where they were standing, they had waved goodbye to each other even though a few feet apart and parted ways.

Now Sam was reliving that same awkwardness with a box. A stupid, meaningless box that she couldn't bring herself to pick up, which for all intensive purposes was holding another man's junk. But the objects inside were not meaningless to her. Books, pictures, spare uniforms, and other items that were no threat to security, all stood for something she could no longer have. Something that made her who she was. For the first time that day, Sam let a tear find its way down her check. Then another followed it. Soon enough, a countless number of tears were rolling down her cheeks as she leaned forward and held the steering wheel, willing it to come to life and hold her in return.

It would be another half an hour before Sam made it into her house, the box still in the passenger seat, and fell into a dreamless sleep on her couch; still in her day clothes.

* * *

Jack made it home that night in record time. He was doing a good job of living in denial that day, at least after kicking a small trash receptacle around, and cursing it under the name of Kinsey. He wasn't going to let them see him sweat. He wasn't going to let on, that at least in some small way, what they had been punished for was based in some part on truth. A truth that _they_ could never understand.

He had brushed it off. Locked it away. And then they sent him the stack of personnel folders. The note on top read simply, '_Please find a replacement by the end of the week.' _

"End of the week? I couldn't find a replacement for Carter in a million years, how am I supposed to do that in a week?" He grumbled to himself. He flicked through the names. This group of people had already been picked through for him. This wasn't like when he had to find someone to take Daniel's place when he had ascended. This was a carefully weeded out selection. Further punishment from the looks of things. Not one of these people was up to Carter's abilities, and more than that, they were all scientists, the worst kind in Jack's mind.

"Go through these for me will ya?"

Daniel looked up from his book to the stack of folders that had just been strewn across his desk, and then to Jack. "What are they?"

"Well, according to our lovely superiors, one of them is our new team member. Pick one."

"Wait, whoa, you want _me_ to pick one?"

"Yes, Daniel, I want _you_ to pick one. I'm going home."

"Don't you think you should…?"

Jack was already walking out the door. "No."

That night as Sam Carter fell asleep; Jack O'Neill was just getting home. He took his frustration out on four bottles of beer, and then fell asleep on his own couch.

* * *

The angry ringing of the telephone woke Sam. Her eyes hurt, and her temples throbbed. She caught her balance as she stood and realized that she had never made it out of the attire she had come home in. Making her way into the kitchen, she pulled the receiver off the hook and leaned against the refrigerator.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sam…I didn't wake you did I?"

"Pete…no, no I was…"

"Good. Say, what do you think about lunch today, huh? I heard about this great little place down by the theatre." She should have known he was on the other line. He always called on her day off. She had twenty-one of those days now.

On cue, Sam's stomach growled ferociously. "Um…yeah, lunch sounds good."

"Pick you up in an hour?"

Sam ran her hand through her messy hair. "Better make it two."

For once in the conversation Pete seemed to pick up on her tone. The cheerful spark that usually lit up her end of the discussion wasn't there. "You okay? You sound a little…off."

Sam pretended not to hear a word he had said. "I'm gonna get ready. See you in two hours!" The added pep she had tacked on made her feel guilty as she hung up the phone before he could say anything else. Three weeks, and she should probably tell him before she left.

* * *

"Sam, what's wrong?" Pete laid his fork down on his plate and looked with great concern across the small restaurant table.

Shaking her head from her daze she had to try and remember what he had just asked her. "Nothing, just…tired I guess." It was a lame excuse of a lie and she knew it.

"You sure that's it?

"Yeah." She shook her head and tried to laugh it off. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know Sam, you seem…different. Did something happen at work that you aren't supposed to talk about?"

Damn him. Detectives always had to dig deeper, why couldn't he have just let it go? She tried not to sound angry. "More like something I don't _want_ to talk about." They had already discussed his inability to leave things alone, maybe that would remind him.

Pete sat back in his chair. He knew about what had happened to her best friend only months before, Janet. "Did…is everyone okay?" He had stated it with such trepidation that Sam worried about what she had just said.

"Yes, God yes, no nothing like that…" And yet to Sam, it was like that. The powers that be, politicians and oversight committees, had killed something alright. They had killed a piece of her that couldn't possibly be brought back. A piece of her spirit, that thing that made her who she was. That was what made her so different now sitting across the table from the man she continuously tried to tell herself was the one for her.

"Good." Pete smiled. "The way you talk about the people you work with, I mean…it feels like I know them too ya know? I'd hate to think anything happened to one of them." Why did he have to be so compassionate now?

"Nothing happened to them." She smiled weakly.

He caught the expression and his own grew grave. "Did something happen to _you_?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Sam, if something…"

"It's nothing _you_ can fix. Let it go." She was cold and she knew it. But she wasn't going to let her emotions come out again as they had last night. Not when there were other people around. However, as cold as her voice had been, her eyes were still full of regret, for more than what she was saying. "I'm sorry Pete, it's just, I really don't want to talk about it here."

He shrugged it off. "It's fine. We'll talk later."

* * *

When they finally made it back to Sam's house, she went into her kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

Pete came in behind her and propped back against the counter. "So…what was it that you didn't want to talk about around other people?"

"My job, basically."

"It's always something to do with your job isn't it?" He gave a wry smile that only served to irritate her.

"Not anymore."

Confusion blushed him. "What do you mean?"

"Basically…" Sam winced with embarrassment. "I got fired yesterday."

"Fired?" He pushed off the counter. "Why they hell would you get fired?"

"That part isn't important." She shot back quickly. "Let's just say…for reasons beyond my control."

"Sam…I'm sorry…I know how much this job means to you…."

"Do you?" She cocked her head, still looking at the coffee. "I'm sorry Pete, I know you think you know, but…unless you've done the things I've done…I don't think anyone could ever appreciate it as much as someone who's done it."

"Well, I've seen some of what you do…it was…intense."

Sam finally turned from the coffee pot with a pang of hurt from remembering what he was talking about. "You saw what you saw because you didn't trust me."

"You should have told me something, like you should have told me something before agreeing to go out to lunch like everything was fine."

"You couldn't tell from my voice that everything wasn't fine?" She waved her hands for emphasis.

"Look…I don't want to add to…but hey this could be a good thing." Pete tried to reason.

"How?" Sam wobbled her head and the impossibility of his statement.

"Well, I mean, you could start over; come back to Denver with me…"

Sam's eyes grew wide. Could he really be thinking that way at a time like this? "It's a little soon to be thinking about that, and besides, I can't."

"Why not? There's nothing left for you here." And with those few words, he had done it. Nothing? Sam couldn't push it aside, nothing. They weren't nothing. None of it was nothing. How could he dismiss such a big part of her like it was _nothing_.

She crossed her arms. "I lost my position at the SGC but I'm still part of the Air Force, Pete. I was transferred, to Nevada."

Pete slapped his hands on his legs. "Then quit."

"I can't quit."

"Why not?"

"Because I won't. Quitting would show them that they've won. And I can't turn my back on the program altogether, not if I can still be involved in some way."

"I don't understand why, if they wanted to fire you, they just transferred you, that isn't being fired…and you weren't demoted…?"

Sam replied to quickly. "It's punishment." As soon as the words were out she winced and turned away. Why couldn't he let things go?

"For what? They have to give you a reason, I don't care how top secret your job is, there had to be some written explanation."

She turned to find a cup. "You wouldn't like it…"

"Tell me." It came out like an order.

Her voice was a dead monotone. "Accusation of an inappropriate relationship with a superior officer."

"Accusation?"

Sam swung around so quickly that Pete stepped back. "Because NOTHING happened." Then she stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Pete followed quickly after. "Well something had to have happened for them to take you off your team…oh my God." He stopped in his tracks, and waited for her eyes to turn and meet his. "You and…what's his name…your boss, O'Neill?"

"NOTHING HAPPENED!" Sam was crying now, in front of him, she was crying, she swore she wouldn't.

A look of hurt crossed Pete as he whispered, "It _was_ him."

Sam's right hand flew into the air for emphasis. "It was completely bogus crap, they wanted to punish us, and so they made up some story that couldn't be proved, but…"

Cop-Pete spoke now. Calm. Too calm, so calm that it was unsettling. "If it couldn't be proved then why are you still off of your team?"

Sam brushed away her tears. "Because in their words it couldn't be disproved either."

"Why couldn't it be disproved? Shouldn't _I_ be enough evidence to the fact that it isn't true?"

"You shouldn't have to be my proof…"

He cut her off with another question. "Why haven't you just gone forward and said something, if there's no truth to the allegations then…wait…there is truth to them isn't there?"

"What the hell are you talking about Pete?"

"I'm not saying anything happened, but…could it have? Given the opportunity?"

"NO!"

"Sam…"

"It doesn't matter, because nothing DID. And here I am, at least until I have to be in Nevada next month."

"And you'd rather be in Nevada than in Denver with me?"

"Please don't make this about you." She begged.

"I thought this was about _us_."

"And you've yet to mention coming to Nevada." She retorted angrily.

"Sam, Colorado Springs is one thing, but Nevada is…"

"A long way from home?"

"Sam…"

"Look Pete, maybe we should take some time to think about this…we can talk it over after you've had some time…"

"You've already made your decision haven't you?"

Sam starred at him for the longest time, resolution was there, and it was saying it that took time. "Yes."

"You're going to Nevada."

"Yes."

"If I'm ever in Nevada, I'll be sure to stop by." And with that, Pete let himself out of her house.

Sam made her way to her couch for the second time in two days to fall asleep crying. But she wasn't given the time. Her phone started ringing again. Sam stared at the machine and waited for it to pick up. Pete, she thought. He was already trying to negotiate again. She heard her own voice greet the caller. Then the tone echoed through the house, then his voice.

"Um…hey Carter…guess I missed you…I was just…um…call me if you get a chance."

Sam reached for the phone, and it clattered as she fumbled with it. "Sir?"

But he was gone.

* * *

**A/N: First off, thank you all SOOOO much for your reviews. I wish I could have sent you each an individual thank you, but my school email is down, so I switched to another server, but once again THANK YOU. **

**As far as the Pete-Breakup, I have never had a mature breakup...ever...and so I don't have much experience for which to write one from...so hopefully this should be the only weak chapter. Had this come off like one of my breakups...yeah, rating for language would have been up and other such issues lol. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless, thank you for reading. **

**Please Review!**


	4. Salt

**Salt **

"Jack, I don't like this."

"Neither do I, Daniel."

"Then why don't you do something about it?"

Jack's hands came down hard on the debriefing room table. "Like _what_?"

Daniel pressed himself back in his seat. He wasn't afraid of Jack. A least that's what he told himself. But as angry as he had seen his friend before, it had never caused this much tension between them. "I don't know…I honestly don't."

"Then stop asking." It wasn't a suggestion, nor was it a request. It was an order through and through. And Daniel took it.

Teal'c, having sat silently through the rest of the exchange, now turned his head a fraction of an inch as he heard the nearby office door open. Soon footsteps announced to everyone else that Dr. Weir had arrived. Daniel stood out of courtesy, but Jack never took his steeled gaze off of the table before him.

"Good morning SG-1," She greeted. "I hope you are all…well." She couldn't rephrase it, not now. Taking a deep breath she motioned for Dr. Jackson to be seated and found her own chair. "I understand that you still haven't chosen a replacement for Major Carter, is that correct?"

"Kind of hard to replace someone who didn't need replacing." Jack grumbled.

"Colonel, I've already told you, I've done all I can, this is nothing I can change. But I have my orders, and so do you. Should I place someone on your team myself?"

Jack finally looked up. "Not like I had much of a choice anyway. Go for it."

"Colonel, I…"

"Look, you want me to sit here and go along with this crap? I'm sitting. But I'm not going to replace a member of my team who did NOTHING to deserve being removed from it. Daniel couldn't do it either. You want to replace her, do it yourself!"

Elizabeth took his words in. She didn't flinch at the anger that could have caused others to avoid eye contact. She looked Jack O'Neill dead in the face. She understood his position. But she understood hers as well. "Very well. I will. Until then, I don't see why SG-1 can't function as a three man team for their next mission. You leave in two hours." She rose, finally broke eye contact, then turned and made a commanding exit to her office where she very much wished to slam her door but resisted.

* * *

Sam's first day alone was something of a curious experience. She had been off of SG-1 for more than a day by far. But this was the first day in the past eight years when she had no one in the world to call. Pete was gone. Her father was God knew where. And now, anyone she could dream of talking to was light years away.

Less than three weeks to go, close to two. She still had a house full of things to be moved, and a lifetime of memories to hide from. How could this have happened? She had done absolutely nothing wrong. If anything, she was being punished for doing the right thing.

Leaning against her counter, her hair a mess, and a ring of coffee burning into the pot, she let her mind wander to where she should be. She should be on P87-720, standard recon. Instead she was in her pajamas breathing in the wretched and bitter fumes of burnt coffee. She thought to herself of what they may be finding. Signs of an ancient civilization that would make Daniel lose track of time and cause Jack to lose his patience when he refused to go home. Would Teal'c sense an unforeseen danger before it was too late as he so often did? Would there be a new technology hidden there…one that only she could figure out?

Sam laughed. Not a happy laugh. An acidic and mocking chuckle. A laugh of defeat.

* * *

"Daniel, are you done yet?"

"Al…most." the archeologist replied. "I just have to label these specimens."

Still leaning up against a tree, Jack fidgeted with his hat. His mood bringing an ever darkening cloud over them all. "What the hell is taking so long?" It had been two days already, what could take that much time was beyond Jack.

But that was it, Daniel had taken enough. He was losing a friend too after all. "Well normally Sam is here to help!" He practically hollered.

Had growling been a normal response for humans, Daniel's face would not have become so bewildered, and Teal'c eyebrow would not have risen so high. But Jack let out a sound that could only be described as such. "I think we all know that Carter's not here, but thank you so much for bringing that up again."

"Damn it, Jack." Daniel bit his tongue and packed his equipment. He stood abruptly when he was done, swung the bag over his shoulder, and trudged past the older man. "She's our friend too." He snapped.

"We're not exactly being punished for me being her _friend_, now are we Daniel?" Jack eyed him swiftly and took the lead.

They didn't speak again on the planet. They didn't speak on the ramp, or in the infirmary. It wasn't until they were getting ready to go home that they even breathed in the same air, unless one counted the debriefing room.

"Jack…I'm sorry…but…you can't push us out. Not now. Don't do this again."

"Daniel…for the last time…"

"O'Neill!" Teal'c's bellow that clattered through the lockers caught even Jack of guard. "Do not forget that we too are friends of Major Carter. Even if our friendship is different, that does not make it less difficult. Perhaps if we were to remember that we are _all_ in this seagoing vessel together, then we would also realize it is not wise for us to bicker when we have already been separated."

The room was silent for a moment.

Daniel finally nodded his head once. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

"Fine." Jack shook his head in frustration. "Just…don't push it."

"We will not." Teal'c replied.

"So…has anyone talked to Sam? I mean since…you know?"

Jack got up and closed his locker door. "I called her." He stared at the door.

"And?" Daniel pressed. "Is she doing okay?"

"I don't think she wants to be bothered right now." And with that Jack turned and left the room.

How was he supposed to tell Daniel and Teal'c that she had never returned his call? That in the two days that passed before their mission he had called not once, but three times all together. And each time the machine picked up it was like salt being rubbed into an open wound. She wanted to talk to someone, he knew she did. But obviously it wasn't him.

* * *

A week was gone. Exactly two to go. A 'for sale' sign now stood posted in the yard of the house she had come to call a home. It was a good neighborhood, and she already had people who wanted a closer look. "Not now," she had told the agent, "Not while I'm here, please."

Staring out the window at the sign she reminded herself that she should be looking for a similar marker in a town far away, in a state far away. She should be packing as well, but the boxes were stacked high in her hallway, yet to be assembled, and far from ever being labeled and filled. They were as empty as she was.

There was no way she would finish it alone.

She picked up her phone and dialed.

The phone rang once and her heartbeat quickened. "Please pick up."

It rang again and a lump formed in her throat. "No, don't pick up." She thought.

By the time the third ring began she was sure that her voice was gone altogether and if anyone answered she wouldn't be able to reply.

Before the fourth ring she had ended the call. Seconds before he could pick it up.

"O'Neill."

There was no reply. "Hello?" Jack moved the phone from his ear and read the caller ID. _Carter_.

Not sure what to say, and knowing that she had hung up before his machine had even had a chance to answer; he quickly hit her speed dial anyway. The anticipation built.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Daniel!" The smiling voice on the other end was closer to a frown than usual, but there was no doubt as to who it was.

"Sam! Hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm…doing…" She replied lamely, noticing a distant beep in her ear that told her she had another call. Glancing at the ID she decided to let it go.

"Is something wrong…I mean…you know, besides?"

"Well, actually, I could use a little help." In more ways than one.

Daniel noticed the persuasion tone coming out. She usually only saved that for the big jobs. "Sure, what with?"

"Packing." She let out a sigh of relief when the beeping tone ended.

Daniel's heart stopped for sure. If it had been beating at all since he found out he was losing one of his best friends. "Oh. Yeah, sure…okay. Um…when's a good time?"

"Tomorrow morning? I mean, if you don't have to be at work…I wasn't sure…I thought you would be on leave since we…I mean you had been scheduled for a mission."

"Oh, yeah, no, we went. We went, and we're back…and tomorrow morning is fine. I'll tell Teal'c, and I'll give Jack a call if you haven't."

"Oh, Daniel, you don't have to do that, I don't have that much stuff, I'm sure you and I can handle it."

She could see Daniel's pinched up face in her mind. Even more when he spoke. "You sure?"

"Well, I guess Teal'c could help with the really heavy lifting." She tried to laugh, but it wasn't convincing. "But…you don't have to bother the Colonel…I'm sure he's busy…I mean with my replacement and all…"

"No, he isn't. I'll call him."

"Daniel…"

"No seriously, he refused to pick someone, so Weir is doing it. I'm sure he'd love to help. See you tomorrow?"

Sam breathed in and forgot to exhale. "Sure. Thanks, Daniel."

"No problem. See you soon."

_Refused_. She thought to herself. Jack O'Neill had refused to replace her. "Please don't risk your career for me." She whispered to the night.

**A/N: Thank you soooooo much for your reviews. You are all too kind! Please continue to enjoy the story, and thank you for reading. **

**Please Review :-)**


	5. Boxed

**Boxed **

Sam hadn't been able to sleep well, again. She was up before the sun, and after a filling breakfast to give her energy…and because cooking it would take time off her hands that she didn't usually have, she had to find something to do before Daniel arrived with the recruits. She hoped above all hope that he hadn't done anything foolish. Cassie didn't need to be reminded of what little family she had left being dismantled, and even more than that, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it if the Colonel came either. 'The Colonel', she thought to herself. She didn't even call him Jack in her mind on the off chance that it would slip and yet she was being sent as far away from him and the rest of the team as the Stargate Program could handle.

The sharp ping of the doorbell broke her out of her thoughts.

Relief washed over her face when she opened the door to find Daniel and Teal'c. No one else.

"We brought refreshments!" Daniel said with a cheerful tone and held up a case of beer. Teal'c had his own drink with him as well as a case of doughnut holes. He gave a small bow in greeting.

Sam held the door open a little wider. "Great! Thank you guys for helping out…I probably could have managed but…"

"We understand." Daniel gave her a small smile as he cut her off. He understood more than she knew. Any time they could share would be a blessing. And surely packing her belongings on her own would only serve to put Sam into an even deeper state of depression.

"So…just us then?" Sam looked worried and Daniel squinted a bit before replying as he mulled it over in his head.

"Well, I uh, I called Jack but got his voice mail. I left a message…but he's probably…busy."

"Oh, well…I don't have that much stuff so …."

Teal'c, sensing the mood beginning to turn, broke in. "Where would you like us to begin Major Carter?"

"Oh, well…I was thinking we could do the areas I don't use that much first…leave the bedroom and stuff like that 'til last."

"Very well."

"I've already got boxes divvied out in all the rooms. I'll get a marker and meet you in the guest room." Sam pointed them to where they already knew to go, and rushed off to the kitchen to put away the beer and doughnuts and to grab a felt tip.

All of her books were packed. The few knickknacks she had were wrapped delicately and put away. Her mother's things. Now Daniel and Teal'c were taking the spare bed apart.

Sam took an exaggerated breath. "I know it's a little early, but I think I'm going to go break into the rations." She smiled before heading to the kitchen. She drank where she was rather than risking it getting spilled in the packing mess, the realtor would have a field day with that.

Standing at the basin, leaned against the counter's edge, Sam couldn't help but identify with her possessions that were being packed away. Locked away from where they should be, taken far from home, out of sight.

On her way back to the guest room, Sam took a moment to herself. Daniel and Teal'c were taking their time disassembling the furniture, hoping for a reason to come back again. She wasn't going to help them speed up their progress. The noise emanating from the far end of the usually quiet abode was comforting. It was a sound Sam was sure she would not hear again, at least not without a miracle.

She let out a deep breath and took a step towards her front window. Out of habit mostly, she ran her fingers through the Venetian blinds to part them and found an odd sight on her front lawn. Someone was inspecting her 'for sale' sign. But not just any someone. She would recognize that silhouette anywhere. She had been able to pick it out of a crowd for years now. She told herself it was so she would never mistake him for the enemy; and maybe that was partly it.

Hands forced into his pockets and in a stance that read unhappy, Jack O'Neill stood in front of Sam Carter's house and inspected the truth. The sign said it all, she was going. As strange as it was to him, he couldn't stop staring at the sign. He hoped against all hope that it would disappear. That the Asgard would beam it away to some distant and burning planet. But there it remained, mocking him in the lush green grass; like a snake ready to strike.

Still staring from the window, Sam pulled her index finger back and allowed the flimsy shades to reseal. She looked down and bit her lip before gathering herself; taking a deep breath, pulling her shoulders back, and most importantly, putting on the brave soldier smile. Then she opened her front door.

Jack was in such a state of morbid fascination with the sign and his own thoughts that he never heard her approach. She was only six feet away.

"Sir?"

Jack twisted his head up and around with a look of shock. "Carter!" He replanted his feet so that he was facing her, trying to look nonchalant and failing in every sense of the means. "I was just…admiring your sign here."

"You've been admiring it for a while." She replied with a nervous grin that threatened to turn into a frown at any second.

"Oh, well…were you watching me?"

There was the frown. "You were standing on my front lawn, Sir."

"Yeah…" He looked at his feet and winced. "Guess I was huh?" He grimaced before he looked back to her face. "So, Daniel tells me it's packing day."

"Yes, Sir…but you don't have to...I mean I think we have it covered."

"Oh come on Carter, you afraid I'm gonna throw out my back lifting stuff?"

"No…Sir…it's just…I mean…you being here. I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression."

Jack's attempt to hide his emotions faded. He didn't even want to try. "People already have the wrong impression, Carter. Otherwise I wouldn't be here to help you pack."

Sam's brow lowered a hair and her nose flared just enough for Jack to realize that he had struck a nerve. "Sir…" She shook her head and flapped her hands away from her side before slapping them back to her legs. "I really don't know what to say anymore."

Carter didn't know what to say? That was new. Any other time and Jack would have had a good joke to throw at her about it, but this was never going to be a laughing matter to either of them. "Is that why you wouldn't call me back?"

Her eyes grew wide. It was stupid to think he'd forget, or push it aside. But she had never dreamed in a million years that he would call her out on it face to face. "Maybe." She looked away towards the street as a car whizzed by, going over the speed limit of course, and leaving behind that lingering whir in her ear that lasts longer than the sight of the vehicle itself.

She turned back when she heard the rustle of the grass blades as he walked closer to her. "Carter. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

Jack's whole body quaked. Guilt. That was that feeling that had begun flittering through him when this all started. Making him think back over every conversation he could remember, every glance, and every uneven breath. Guilt. "Probably the same reason I do." He stated plainly.

And there it was. For the second time since her dismissal, there it was. Right there, dangling in front of them like the proverbial worm but neither would bite. They couldn't see it because they were too busy staring at each other, but more than anything because they refused to acknowledge it, they always had.

The question now was who was going to break. It was Sam.

"Daniel brought beer, more than we can drink. Would you like one?"

A new mood flushed over Jack, like a sheet had been pulled over his true self and he was hiding in it. "Beer sounds good!" He said cheerfully. "I think I'll have one…maybe two…before I start any heavy lifting." He gave her a lopsided grin, just big enough to make her eyes crinkle on the outer corners as she failed to repress a smile. She didn't say anything back, at least not with words. But her eyes locking on his for that last fleeting moment before she turned said enough. Jack let out a small breath and followed her into the house.

**

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A/N: Big thanks to my good friend Madaline-7!!

Thank you for reading.

**Please Review!!**


	6. Glances

**Glances **

"So, now what?" Jack slumped back in Sam's couch as she plopped down beside him (and yet as far away as possible at the same time) and handed him another beer.

"I think a nap may be in order." Sam replied groggily as she rubbed her eyes.

"Who would have thought you'd have this much stuff?" Jack grumbled with a hint of a laugh.

"Sir?"

"Well, don't get me wrong…but, for someone who spends so much time at work…you have a lot of crap."

"Colonel!" Sam couldn't help but giggle, her need for sleep was allowing some of her barriers to fall, and upon realizing it she pulled her feet up under her and turned to the other two men sprawled out in her living room. "So, Daniel, anything new happening at the SGC?"

"Huh?" Daniel propped his second beer bottle up on the box that had become a side table. "Well, Anubis…is dead." He pondered for a moment longer. "And uh, well…Jack refused to replace you…and…"

"Daniel…" Jack started. He waited for his inebriated friend to look towards him with a glazed confusion. "Don't. In fact…no one talk about work. That's an order." He turned his attention to Sam.

"Yes, Sir." She pressed her lips tightly together and broke her train of thought that was focusing on his face. She looked to her hands, cramped from wrapping breakables.

"Sam can talk about whatever she wants to. This is her house." Daniel piped up. "Besides, even if it wasn't…she doesn't have to follow your orders anymore." Daniel's grin at his deduction was the penultimate of contrast to the looks of shock on his friends' faces. "What? It's a joke…mostly." He added.

Jack and Sam still did nothing but stare at him. It was up to Teal'c to break the awkward silence. "Daniel Jackson, I believe that you may have consumed too many alcoholic beverages. Perhaps it would be best if I drove you home."

"Why?" Daniel shook his head. His lose tongue had gotten him into sticky situations before. He didn't see why this one was any different. "Oh, sorry, I didn't…I didn't mean for it to come out so…like that."

"You know, Danny-boy, T may be right. I think you have had enough." At that point Jack ran out of planned speech. What was he going to say next? 'Yeah, I knew that.' In point of fact, he had known…hadn't he?

No. That wasn't true. Of all the things that had changed with Sam being removed from his team that was the ONE thing he hadn't realized had changed. "Besides…." He drew a mock grin. "Carter will always follow my orders." With this he waved his now drained bottle. "Major, got any more?" He crooned before realizing exactly what had just come out of his mouth.

Sam didn't hesitate. "Not for you…Sir." The fire burning in her blue eyes was enough to send a chill down Jack's spine.

"Ohhhh, tell him Sam."

"Shut up, Daniel." But she never turned her gaze from her _former_ C.O. "Actually, Colonel, there is one left, and I would like it. Think you could grab it for me?" An evil smirk crossed her face.

'Okay.' Jack thought to himself. 'She's only half mad. But I'm thinking it would be better if she was all the way mad instead of whatever is making her look at me like that.'

"Yes, ma'am!" Jack replied with care as he hurried from the couch and towards the kitchen.

"Sam, I…"

"Daniel, it's okay. I'm sorry I told you to 'shut up', but I think you've had enough. Teal'c?"

"Yes Major Carter?"

"Maybe it would be a good idea for you to take him home."

Teal'c looked over Daniel and his still slightly confused face. "Indeed. Will you be needing anymore assistance with your packing?"

"I'll let you know." She smiled and quickly ushered them to the door before Jack could return. She wondered how long it would take for him to realize that she had already given him the last beer. "I'll call you guys later okay?"

She stepped back into the living room just as Jack returned from the kitchen. "Carter…if you sent me on a wild goose chase to teach me a lesson…then…" Jack stopped, pivoted on his feet, and then returned his attention to where she stood in the middle of the room. "Where'd everybody go?"

"I told Teal'c to take Daniel home. He gets too chatty when he drinks."

"You didn't even let me say goodbye." He frowned slightly and looked towards the door. Anything to tranquilize the giant pink elephant stampeding through the room.

"Well, at least you get to see them again…" Sam bit her bottom lip and sought out the carpet with her eyes. Had she just said that?

Jack dropped the act and took a step forward. "Carter…it's not like you aren't going to see them…us…again. We'll always be here for you. And Nevada's not THAT far."

"I know that Sir, but…this…it just _sucks_." She let out an ironic laugh. The things that man had done to her vocabulary.

"I know." He spoke so low that it was nearly a whisper.

"Do you?" Sam shook her head. "I'm sorry Sir, but…I still feel like I'm the only one being punished here. You guys are still on SG-1! I'm the one who has to leave!"

"Carter!" He growled. "If you think you're the only one who's being punished then think again."

Her eyes grew wide and she pulled her head back at his quick reply.

"Daniel's having trouble getting anything done, Teal'c is all sulky and I…" He straightened his stance. "I've lost the best second in command I'll ever had."

Sam's chin dropped. Had he actually said it? Yes, he had. And from the way he stared at her now, his mouth in a straight drawn line, his eyes focused so steadfast, there was still more he wanted to say, but she knew better than anybody that he wouldn't. Then she felt it. The one thing she swore she wouldn't let happen. A warm drop rolled down her cheek, leaving a cool trail behind. A single tear that no one would have missed. She pretended to go for her hair, as if it was in her face as she caught the tear with the heel of her hand but it was useless. He saw it. And then the single betraying tear was followed by several more as she stood there crying in his arms. She wasn't sure how he had gotten there, but he had. Now she was crying against his shoulder; just like when they thought they had lost Daniel (the first time), just like when they had lost Janet, and now when they had lost each other.

When the tears finally stopped coming, not because she was over it, but because they had run out, she finally spoke. Her voice was raspy. "You said you felt guilty too. Why?"

Jack moved his head from her neck, but unlike what he would have usually done, he stayed there, and rested his chin on her head. "I wouldn't feel guilty about this if…if there wasn't…if I didn't keep thinking it over in my head. You remember what I said in that room."

It hadn't been a question but he felt her nod her head against him before he continued. "I know they don't know about that…all of that, but…if _feelings_ got in the way before…then." He took a deep breath. "I just keep trying to remember every quip, every…glance. Maybe they did see something that I was trying not to show…to anyone."

Silence. And still they stood there, in the embrace they had never had before. But it wasn't like either had imagined. They never thought they would have it. Then again, when they had dreamed of the off chance, it wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to be goodbye.

Sam finally pulled away, leaving a good foot between them. "It's not fair!"

Jack almost jumped at the emotions still welling up from deep within her. He knew that he was able to hide himself, his true self. But never before had he thought about how much Sam kept hidden within herself.

"We did our jobs. We _never _let anything interfere. Ever. And now…God it's like they're laughing at us. I never thought about it like that until Daniel…" She shook her head, more with anger than sadness now.

Jack arched his neck. "Chain of command."

"What chain?" Sam snorted. "I'm off the team. You're not my C.O. anymore."

He had just thought it, but hearing her say it made it hit him in a totally different way. "Rules…regulations…"

"Bastards." Sam cursed.

Jack just looked at her, a tiny pinch in his right brow.

"They're mocking us, Sir. Trying to get us to take the bait."

Realization dawned on him. "That's not what they had in mind…they're not that smart. No matter what they think…" He tried to rationalize with her.

"It doesn't matter if they thought it through or not. It doesn't. The truth of the matter is, if…Oh, never mind."

"If we took this…opportunity…" Jack began, giving her what she needed to go on.

"Then we'd be proving them right." Her bottom lip sucked in a fraction of a hair. She shook her head again and made a hissing sound. "I lost my job…my life, over a false accusation…and that gave me the only real opportunity…but taking it would just prove them right."

"No."

"Sir?"

"It wouldn't prove anything, Carter. You and I both know that…"

She cut him off, "It doesn't matter what we know! All that matters is what they would see, that they were right."

Jack hung his head. She was right. The rock was their past. And their future looked to be a very hard place.

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A/N: HAPPY SHIP DAY 2008!!

**-Thank you Madeline-7 for keeping me on track!**

**-Thank you all for reading….**

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	7. Switch

**Switch **

Watching Carter break down like that, in front of him, was something that Jack couldn't help but find unsettling. He told himself that he knew her, how she thought and how she felt, as well as he ever would. But the woman he left still puffy eyed in her house was not the Samantha Carter he knew. She had let her guard down in a way that he was sure no one else had been allowed to see.

But it was what she had said that had his mind reeling even more than the memory of her so close to him, so near and yet so far away. They had admitted it, again, to one another. There _was_ something there. Something that could be construed as inappropriate if placed in the open. But that wasn't the reason they were in this situation. It was the false accusation of such a thing that had made it possible. Possible _now_. Had he thought about it? Sure. He knew he had; he had just kept it in that part of his mind where he kept all of those thoughts of 'what if'. Somehow not allowing those kinds of thoughts out kept him from getting hurt in a way that no one could see. And apparently Sam was hurting there too.

They had pushed it all aside for so long. They could keep it there. Couldn't they? If it showed those who had destroyed one of the best things Earth had going. They could do it. The question was…for how long?

* * *

"Daniel."

"Jack…"

"T."

"O'Neill."

Jack looked around the debriefing table and then cast a casual glance at the SFs posted at the stairwell. "So, why are we here?"

"Dr. Weir has summoned us here to meet with Major Carter's replacement." Teal'c informed the colonel before seating himself.

Jack pulled out a chair. "Okay, see, now that's not possible, because as far as I'm concerned Carter's not being _replaced_." He took another glance around the room and mumbled to himself. "Where is this stooge?"

Daniel heard him but didn't respond to the whispered question. "Well Jack, you have to admit, whoever has been placed on SG-1, they've obviously been chosen to fill Sam's… _scientific_ shoes." Daniel threw a sympathetic glance before pulling himself under the desk as well.

All three men studied the empty seat at Jack's side. Sam should be there. Each knew that. The question was, who was going to be sitting there now? As if by some gift of mercy to ease the building tension, Dr. Weir came into the briefing room like a swift breeze.

"SG-1, good morning!" She smiled. She always smiled. Daniel thought to himself that he liked that about her. It helped put people at ease in a place often filled with dread. "As I'm sure you're well aware, I have placed a great deal of effort in filling Major Carter's position with someone I feel to be the most qualified."

"The 'most qualified' would be Major Carter." Jack inserted gruffly.

Weir simply raised her chin, took a millisecond to push his remark out of her mind, and continued. "While Major Carter's military position was highly valued on the team, it was brought to my attention that her scientific skills are rather hard to beat. Therefore I made my choice based on who would best flesh out your team's combined skills."

Daniel grew a nervous stance as he observed the ever so slightly raised brow, scar and all, over Jack's eye. Did Jack get what was being said? Probably. Was he going to take it well when he was sure? Hell no.

"So…_not_ military personnel?"

"No…" Weir slowly turned her head. "But I believe some of you may have met, or at least heard of each other. He's a doctor of astrophysics, just like Major Ca…"

"WHOA!" Jack waved his hands wildly. "A scientist?"

Daniel and Teal'c quickly found pieces of lent in the air to study.

"Yes…Colonel, a scientist. Is there a problem?"

"Yeah…he's a scientist."

"Major Carter was also a scientist." Weir calmly reminded him with a hint of a smile from her bemusement to his reaction.

"Well, that's different." Jack muttered.

Elizabeth took a short breath and studied the table before her and then she continued. "Dr. Rodney McKay is one of the most up and coming scientists involved with the Stargate Program. After some more extensive work in Russia, he was transferred to the Antarctic post, and was one of the first scientists to work on the Ancient outpost that you yourself discovered, Colonel. I know this is going to take some time, but aside from Major Carter, I believe he is the best choice out of those that were allotted."

"So in other words, no choice?"

Weir shook her head. "No."

"Alright." Jack sat back in his chair with enough force to make it rock. "When do we meet this dweeb?"

Daniel shot an un-amused glance in his direction and Jack quickly broke eye contact.

"Actually, he should be here." Weir folded her hands on the table and looked around the obviously scientist-free room until she landed her sight on one of the SF's in the corner. "Airman?"

The young man seemed startled to be singled out, but his military training quickly led him to a composed stance at the other end of the table. "Yes ma'am?"

"Could you please go and see if Dr. McKay has arrived yet? And if he has, get him here. Immediately." Dr. Weir favored punctuality.

The airman nodded. "Yes ma'am!" And he quickly hurried down the stairs. Within a matter of minutes his boots sent a warning succession of thuds to announce his return. Behind him, a haughty man took his time following.

"Dr. McKay."

"Dr. Weir!" Okay, so maybe he wasn't completely hopeless, his smile seemed earnest enough, but his arrogance flooded the room more quickly than a breaking dam.

"You were supposed to report to my office over an hour ago, Doctor." Weir reminded him patiently.

"Ah, yes. Afraid a bit of jetlag got to me." Rodney clapped his hands together. "So, this must be my team."

Jack's eyebrows could have reached the moon, and even one of Teal'c's began to climb. Daniel just looked away before the explosion.

"Actually." Jack started as he rose to his feet. "This is _my_ team. Which means, you'll be working for _me_."

"Oh, yes, of course. Colonel O'Neill…" Rodney stopped dead. "Wait, I'm being placed on SG-1?" A sudden dawning encased him and fear began to bubble in his blood. "You're putting me on the front line team?!"

"Yes, Rodney. You are being placed on SG-1 as their scientific explorer." Weir held composure like no one else.

"But…no, no, no. Major Carter is the brains, albeit not necessarily the best, on SG-1."

"Dr. McKay…"

"Now wait just a second…" Jack had been slightly willing to try, until the new guy remarked on Carter's intellect. But as soon as he realized he was interrupting Elizabeth he allowed her to go on.

"Dr. McKay." She restarted. "Major Carter has been reassigned to R and D. _You_ have been chosen to replace her position on SG-1. I suggest you get to know your new team, because in a week, you will all be back on the mission list. That's all. I'll give you some time to get to know each other, but other than that SG-1 you will remain on-call until your next mission briefing. Please stay close to the base." With that Weir rose as well and headed back to her rather large stack of personnel files that needed evaluations. She had it in mind to take to her newest SG member's first so that she could leave a few comments on timing.

The original members of SG-1 all got up as well and headed for the door. Jack quickly noticed when Daniel made no attempt to welcome McKay, and from the look Daniel was giving Jack and Teal'c, they would all know why soon.

Watching the other men leave, Rodney shrugged and headed off for the commissary.

* * *

"Daniel? Not exactly being _friendly_ are you?"

"Jack, tell me you realize who that was."

"Our new think tank." Jack responded bitterly.

"And Sam's least favorite person…"

"What?" Now Jack was really concerned.

"Rodney McKay was the one who put the time limit on Teal'c's return after he got caught in the 'gate buffer."

Jack's finger quickly pointed in the direction of the briefing room. "That's the same guy?!"

"Yep."

"Indeed." All eyes turned on Teal'c. "Dr. McKay has been mentioned several times by Major Carter…in less than pleasing ways."

"Go on." Jack prompted.

"I believe she referred to him as…the arrogant offspring of a female dog." Teal'c cocked his head. He knew the exact wording Sam had used but his Jaffa classiness wasn't going to allow him to say it.

"Oh boy." Jack groaned. "This keeps getting better and better."

"Tell me about it." Daniel added. "So, who's going to tell Sam?"

Jack grimaced and Teal'c looked above everyone's line of sight. Did she really need to know? Okay, so Sam didn't outright hate McKay, but finding out that he had just gotten her old job was not something a spoonful of sugar could make go down.

* * *

**A/N: Rodney is one of my favorite characters…but even I didn't like him at first. So don't hate on first impressions please : - )**

**Secondly, I'd like to apologize for taking soooo long to get this up. I've been back in school and preparing for DragonCon which is now out of the way. (The Stargate Panel was awesome!)**

**So, back to the story! Look for regular updates, a chapter a week at least! And thank you all for your wonderful reviews, I'm not sure why you like this story, but it seems that you do.**

**Thanks for reading!! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	8. The Last Dinner

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The Last Dinner

"Sam?"

There was no reply. She just sat there, staring at the nothingness forming before her. They didn't know exactly how to respond. They had expected her to take it badly. But, they had expected her to take it, not repel it so fervently that she sat there like an empty shell. But as hard as it was for them to admit, that was what she was becoming. The past few weeks in Samantha Carter's life were draining her of what, and who, she had always been. It was like a light was beginning to dim within her.

Daniel's voice rose. "Sam?"

There was still no response.

"Carter!" He didn't want to be so forceful, but Jack felt simply unnerved when she cut herself off like that.

"Sorry…Sir. Please tell me this is a joke." She knew it wasn't, but she wished for just one moment that they would lie to her and make it better. Somehow.

"Carter, you know I don't joke about scientists. At least, not about them being put on my team." Her eyes jumped up and grabbed his and he found a memory flashing before him of the first time he had seen them. He bit his lip and quickly looked towards his hands, folded in his lap. He'd been having those flashes more and more. Memories of things he would miss, things he had already begun to feel so distant from. He gathered himself quickly and looked up once more.

When he looked across the small space he met her eyes for another brief moment, and she gave a fine lined smile. The flush in his cheeks had given him away, and Jack couldn't help but wonder, and perhaps hope, that she was remembering the same encounter. If she knew him, and he knew that she did, she was thinking about it too. She had learned to read him so well over the past seven years. More than either wanted to admit. Of course admitting things was never their strong point.

"I just can't believe of all the people they could have chosen from…they chose…McKay." Sam snorted. "I mean, he did help with the incident with Anubis and the 'gate exploding, but still. I mean, he's such an…ass." Sam shook her head and then grew a pointed stare on one of them men across from her. "Teal'c, are you okay with this?"

"In what way do you mean, Major Carter?"

"You realize that McKay is the same person who set the deadline on us getting you out of the 'gate buffer right?"

"Indeed." He nodded slightly.

"And you're okay with that?"

Teal'c raised his gaze for a moment. "You were able to get me out of the Stargate Major Carter; therefore I have no reason to hold ill will towards Dr. McKay." A small and rare smile graced the Jaffa's lips as he remembered yet another occasion in which his dear friend had saved his life. Since he had come to the people of the Tau'ri, he had earned much respect for Samantha Carter, not just as a warrior, or even a scholar, but as a person.

Sam gave another huff to express her disapproval. But her attention was quickly drawn to her side where Daniel was seated.

"You know, Dr. Weir was the one who chose Dr. McKay. I mean, she had a rather limited list of choices, but…she seems to know what she's doing."

Sam nodded meagerly. "Yeah, she does. I never thought I'd get used to the idea of someone else being in charge of the SGC, especially a civilian, but…she does seem to have the aptitude for the position. Not that I'll be there to see it." A bitter smirk crossed her face.

"Yeah…" Daniel pinched his face and then grew an innocent and boyish expression. "So…where did all your boxes go so fast?"

"Oh, forgot to mention that. Moving van came this morning. Aside from what I'm taking with me in my car, everything's gone on to _greener_ pastures."

"Why didn't you call us?" Jack asked slightly shocked.

"It wasn't a big deal, Sir. The moving guys handled it pretty quickly, and I don't think they broke anything yet."

"Yeah, but they can't be too good. They left your couch for cryin' out loud!"

Sam actually gave a dull giggle. But it was something. "Afraid my apartment isn't going to hold everything, virtual tour aside; the square footage isn't measuring up. Unless you guys want this stuff…it goes with the house." She looked at the furniture that she had taken great thought into buying and shrugged. Sam had known she wouldn't be home much, but she still had wanted to make it as 'her' as possible. It had been a waste of time.

"One could always use a new couch." Jack responded.

"Sir, you have a couch." Sam reminded him.

"And I have a chair, but I'd like this one if you don't mind." Daniel interjected.

"Guys…."

"What?" Jack and Daniel both chimed. Teal'c merely raised his eyebrow.

Sam shook her head. She knew what they were doing.

"Major Carter, have your food stores also been relocated?"

Sam opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it before starting again. "No, Teal'c, but…they are a little low…would you like something?

"Actually Major Carter, I was going to suggest that we all find somewhere to dine. You will be leaving in two days' time, and I would like for us to all eat, on me."

"On you?" Jack queried.

"Indeed. I believe it is my turn." Teal'c gave sideways glance to his commander.

"Well, if you insist." Daniel grinned towards Sam to push her along.

"No one has to pull my arm!" Sam gave a small grin. "Let me just grab my jacket." She heaved up out of the seat, exhausted from the way she put so much force into gaining her stance. Jack gave a slight wince. She always tired herself out like that when she was worried, and this had to be killing her he knew.

Sam was back in a flash, but even her quick return couldn't stop the inevitable. At the moment that she was about to suggest a restaurant that three of them were no longer exactly allowed at, a succession of rings began to fill the living room. Fate had called once more.

"Dr. Jackson."

"O'Neill."

"This is Teal'c."

At that moment Sam missed her direct connection to the SGC. But that particular number had not popped up on her caller ID in some time, strange how she missed it.

There were quick exchanges of words, all mirroring each other. Then three phones quickly disappeared.

"Let me guess, rain check?"

"Yeah, sorry Sam, this sounds really important. The Rebel Jaffa need some help with some kind of weapon they've discovered, and it seems that Ba'al's forces are moving in on it." Daniel moved quickly towards the door, his vehicle was blocking Jack's truck and Teal'c followed closely to him.

"It's fine Daniel. I understand." She gave him a weak smile and a quick hug before he dashed out the door. Teal'c was already behind the wheel. The engine started a second after she saw Daniel pass him the keys.

She faltered for a moment when she saw Colonel O'Neill come back towards the front door in a quick jog as the other two members of her former team, and her permanent family, head off.

"Look, Carter…it shouldn't take long. It sounds like a quick relocate. We'll all have dinner as soon as we get back…"

Carter's head tilted to the side with an understanding gaze. "Go save the world, Sir."

But she didn't expect his hand to find its way to her shoulder so quickly. Expecting just a quick pat, which she had become fond of in their rarities, she felt gravity lose its force in her spine as his hand ran down her arm, and his fingertips trailed off slowly at her elbow. Even less expected was her own hand's sudden reach for his.

"Be careful." She whispered, and gave a small squeeze.

His lips played with a smile. "Always."

And both held on as he walked away, slowly pulling apart. This was what they couldn't have and what had been taken away from them rolled into one. In their minds they knew they couldn't be together. And in their hearts they knew that they would no longer be able to protect one another. The question now was which was worse.

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**Thank you for reading. Thanks to Mada (my angst teacher) as always. Please Review! **


	9. Lost to Time

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**Lost to Time**

A fog, thick and humid, and stinking of marsh had surrounded them from the moment they stepped foot onto the planet. In the heat of the day it was enough to make one sick. Combined with the ever present threat of Ba'al's forces arriving, this was by far one of the most uncomfortable missions SG-1 had been on in a while; not counting the whole defeating Anubis thing. But this was different, mostly because this wasn't SG-1. No, a key part of SG-1 was back on Earth, taking the brunt of the attack started by Kinsey and his seething plans to gain control of the Stargate Program. Even when Jonas had joined the team during Daniel's Ascension, there had still been a cohesiveness, a camaraderie that had held fast. But with Carter gone, things were beginning to slip away; made no less apparent by her replacement.

"Can someone please explain to me why we are here?" An irritated mumble rolled from Dr. Rodney McKay as he tried to keep his energy bar in his mouth and talk at the same time.

"For the umpteenth time!" Jack started. "It doesn't matter _why_; just do your damn job." He pulled his cap off, scratched his hair into an even messier configuration and strode off, muttering under his breath.

Rodney's eyes pinched closer together. "Does he talk to everyone like that?" Realizing he was gaining no reply, he turned his attention to the large and ominous presence he felt to his left. The Jaffa gave him a stern glance, bowed slightly in affirmation of his question, and the proceeded to leave as well. "Huh." Rodney shrugged.

"Look, Dr. McKay…"

"I know what you're going to say, Dr. Jackson. They'll warm up to me eventually."

Daniel bit his lip. "Actually, I was going to ask if you could hurry things up a little bit. We don't exactly have that much time. I'm pretty sure we've mentioned this, a few times, but Ba'al's forces are on their way. Here. To this planet. At any moment." He jutted his chin forward, begging the scientist to get his point.

Rodney looked slightly hurt, but shook it off. He didn't like admitting defeat of his character in front of people he hardly knew. Especially not when he knew that he was the only person who could do the job. "Yes, you've mentioned it. Just, give me thirty minutes."

"You said that a day and a half ago." Daniel rebutted.

"Hey! Do you want to do this? I mean, I'm sure you can probably read all the pretty inscriptions, but I kinda doubt you can reconfigure this weapon's panel to make it appear nonfunctioning while keeping this planet in one piece! This is a very delicate piece of technology. Not to mention old!"

Daniel growled under his breath. "Just make it look like it never worked, and never will. We don't need Ba'al getting any more power than what he's been sucking up since Anubis's defeat." And with that the archeologist stormed off as well. Sam's choice term of 'ass' was more than accurate for Rodney McKay.

* * *

"Are you alright O'Neill?"

The small clearing in the moss clad woods was just large enough for five or six people, so the two who stood there now had plenty of space.

"Actually, Teal'c, no, I'm not."

"Do you believe that Dr. McKay will be unable to perform his duties?"

Jack gave his friend an incredulous stare. But Teal'c merely raised his shoulders in response. He was never intimidated by Jack, or anyone for that matter.

"Daniel Jackson has thoroughly voiced his opinion on the matter. He believes that given the circumstances, we should…'grin and bare it'."

"Well, I don't know about Daniel, but I'm not grinning." Jack huffed and replaced his cap before letting his hands drift to his P-90 and its steady comfort. "I mean, seriously T, Carter would have had this thing figured out an hour after we got here. And that would have been _with _a lunch break."

"This is a difficult mission for Dr. McKay. He is under extreme pressure, and this is after all his first off-world mission." Teal'c reminded him.

"Whose side are you on?" Jack whined.

"SG-1's." Was the solemn reply.

Jack gave a sarcastic smirk in return. "All I know is, if this guy doesn't get the job done within the next hour, we're gonna miss Carter's sendoff for sure."

"I believe Major Carter would understand our current situation."

"Yeah, well…I don't." Jack grunted. In fact, from the moment they had begun to take turns taking watch, Jack had gained a growing feeling of dread in his stomach. One that said they were going to be too late to say goodbye. Even if it wasn't permanent, he wanted to be there. He knew deep down that they all did.

Teal'c was about to break O'Neill's train of thought, but Daniel's hurried voice over the radio beat him to it.

_"Jack! Get back here now!"_

Already in a run, Jack reached for his radio. "What's going on Daniel?"

_"Ba'al's here!" _

* * *

Sam's car was packed to the brim. Her clothes, her computer, and some personal items that should never be trusted to a moving service were all neatly organized into every nook and cranny the car possessed. The only thing missing was Sam. She was still inside the house, hoping against all hope that they would make it back in time, even though the phone call she had made told her they wouldn't. Dr. Weir had taken her call personally and explained the entire situation, even though Sam knew she wasn't supposed to reveal that information, especially not over the phone. But Dr. Weir had felt that the Stargate Program owed Major Samantha Carter a lot more than a one word explanation to anything.

Sam's new position required her to report for work in a little over a day's time. She couldn't put off any longer. It was time to let go. It was time to move on. She gently placed the three envelopes on her couch, gently brushing her fingers over each one, and then made her way to her car, not even bothering to lock the front door. She took a deep breath, turned the ignition, bit back the tears, and found the road that would lead her to a future she never expected to have.

* * *

The Stargate began to glow and spin deep within the mountain. _"Off-world activation. Repeat, unscheduled off-world activation."_

Dr. Weir hurried to the control room. "What have you got Sergeant?"

"SG-1, ma'am. And they're under fire."

"Open the iris." Elizabeth Weir had become more familiar with procedure in her short time at the SGC than anyone could have imagined. Of all of the new faces in the higher positions of the base, hers seemed to be the only one working well.

"Yes, ma'am." Walter reached his hand out to make way for SG-1.

The iris opened, and not a moment later, a very frazzled Dr. McKay scrambled through, fear etched into his face.

"Dr. McKay!" The intercom called down. "Where is the rest of SG-1?"

Rodney merely pointed over his shoulder, just as Jack and Daniel stumbled through looking worse for the wear. Teal'c was the last to step through, calm and collective, before the iris shut and the 'gate shut down.

Jack, Daniel and Teal'c all made there way hastily down the ramp, but McKay stood there collecting himself before calling their attention back. "You people are insane! I mean you actually go through that thing…and do that…every…you're nuts!"

Jack turned back, but Teal'c quickly stood at his side to provide some sort of barrier between him and the scientist. "We wouldn't have had to deal with that if you would have just fixed the damn thing!"

Rodney puffed up and stepped off the ramp. "I _did_ fix it." He reminded the colonel.

"Not. Fast. Enough." Jack's tone was so menacing that ever SF in the gate room cringed. And with that he turned on his heels and made his way to the locker room.

After a hasty debriefing that had the only good news of the day, SG-1 was dismissed and all but McKay quickly made their way to the surface.

"Jack, you know she isn't going to be there. She already told us she has to report to Nellis tomorrow."

"Daniel…I don't want to hear it. We told her we'd be there."

Daniel stood defeated as his shoulders slumped down. Jack always acted this way when she was gone. Now he was beginning to believe that SG-1 was losing more than just Sam, they were losing themselves and each other as well.

* * *

"Her car's gone." Daniel said in a hushed tone. He didn't mean to state the obvious.

"If that's an 'I told you so' you can stow it." Jack grumbled. "Better make sure." And with that Jack led the way to Sam's front door. He took a disgruntled breath and then knocked. No one answered, and no one had expected anyone to. Jack's hand gave the doorknob a quick twist and was shocked to have it turn easily in his hand. He looked back to Teal'c and Daniel with a raised brow, and then silently led the way in.

The house was dark and empty, just like so many other things had become without Carter. But a single lamp was on in the living room. Drawn in like moths, they soon found what Sam had left for them. Three individual envelopes, each with a name: Teal'c, Daniel, and Colonel.

Daniel bit his lip and held it between his teeth. He was the first to reach for his. Teal'c followed with a sadness that only his teammates could read. Jack, the must reluctant of all, finally took his. Teal'c turned out the light, and the three left as silently as they had entered. They had missed their goodbyes. They had lost that right to time.

That night in their respected homes, in similar dispositions of melancholy, each of the men opened their letters, and read.

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**Teal'c**

_Teal'c,_

_Thank you cannot begin to express how grateful I am for all that you have ever done for me. From the moment you passed me your staff and joined us, I knew that you would be a significant part of my life. Seeing things from your point of view has taught me a lot about life. I've learned things I could have only dreamed of from you._

_You've been a wonderful friend, and a powerful ally in the field. I really will miss you Teal'c. You were always there for me in the hardest of times. You never looked down on me, and you encouraged me to the fullest. Having you as a teammate was one of the highlights of my Air Force career. _

_I'm not sure what else to say except thank you, for being you. You are a wonderful person, and you give so much of yourself for others. Your self sacrifice is more than I have ever seen anyone give. _

_Please take care of Daniel and Colonel O'Neill for me; of course I know you would anyway. And don't forget that you get leave like everyone else, and Nevada isn't really that far away. _

_Goodbye Teal'c,_

_ -Major Carter_

**Daniel**

_Dear Daniel,_

_You know so many languages, and yet I'm sure 'goodbye' doesn't sound any better in any of them. In a way I guess this is better. I know it isn't that final goodbye, I mean; we've had that already haven't we? Losing you was so hard. I still remember meeting you for the very first time. _

_Remember when I said "I knew I'd like you."? Well, I guess I was right. Truth of the matter is, you're one of the best friends I have EVER had in my entire life. After all we've been through, we're family. I don't say this lightly, but you're more of a brother to me than my own. The things we've seen and done together, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else at my side. You made me see these things in such a different light; you really are a blessing to be around._

_I know that we will still talk, and hopefully see each other from time to time, but this is going to change so many things. I just want you to know that I love you Daniel, I know I've never said it, but after all of this, it's hard not to admit it. Leaving you guys behind is the hardest thing I think I'll ever do. And it's one of the things I regret the most about my life (please don't tell Teal'c or the colonel though, you know how they get). Just promise me that you'll keep them grounded like you always do. And don't forget to keep me posted on each and every civilization you uncover. _

_All my love_

_ -Sam _

**Colonel**

_Sir,_

_I guess you should know that I left your letter for last. I can see you toiling with the 'best for last' cliché, so don't. The reason I left yours for last is because I knew it would be the hardest. That alone is probably enough to get us into even more trouble, so I'll go ahead and ask you now to get rid of this letter after you've read it, that is if I don't tear it up by the time I'm through writing it. _

_I'm sorry for all of this mess. I know we've talked about this, but the truth is I don't think I'll ever stop feeling guilty about all of this. And when one feels guilty, one feels the insane need to apologize continually until things are right. I guess that means I'll be apologizing for the rest of my life. Leaving the team, and you, behind, well Sir, it's something I never wanted to do. People talk about where they see themselves in ten, twenty, forty years time, and yet if someone had asked me, I would have been caught dumbfounded at the image of being sixty-five and still chasing bad guys through the 'gate with you and the guys. Now we won't even be in the same state. _

_Have I mentioned this isn't fair? _

_The least fair of all, well we've already talked about that too. Sitting here, writing this…makes me think that maybe, well maybe I should have pushed the rules if I was going to get accused of it anyways. But I would never have done that to you. They need you out there Sir, we all do. Of course, I think I'd prefer it if I was out there too. _

_But, as hard as this is, I'm not giving up. I've learned a lot from you Sir. And not giving up is one of the hardest, and truest of those lessons. Even when I felt deep down that we weren't going to make it, you were the one who gave me the hope that we might. And you know what? We did. That's how I know you're going to read this letter. You always got us home. Thank you Sir, for everything and more. It truly was an honor serving with you._

_Please don't kill McKay, as tempting as it may be (You've got that grin now don't you?) I think I may miss that most of all… _

_Watch your six, _

_ -Carter_

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**Thanks for Reading! And thank you so very much for your reviews! **

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	10. Words She'll Never Say

**Words She'll Never Say**

The halls were stark and challenging. There was no comfort here. Sam didn't understand how plaster could seem so cold compared to concrete, but as she made her way through Area 51, keeping pace with her guide; she couldn't help but feel out of place. The concrete tunnels of the SGC were home to her, she realized this now more than ever. A few stray glances caught her eyes, but for the most part the scientists and military personnel didn't even seem to notice her presence.

It had been a good seven minute walk before they turned the final corner. She almost walked on the young lieutenant's heels when he stopped abruptly in front of a door. "This is the General's office ma'am. He's waiting inside."

Sam read the name plate on the door. _General McConnell. _"Thank you Lieutenant." Sam nodded as she knocked on the door, hoping he would leave before she was summoned in. No such luck.

"Come." Came the voice from inside. It was less than inviting. Even for a military call.

Sam reached for the door handle and opened it with confidence that wasn't really there.

"Thank you, David." The General stated, still staring down at the papers before him.

"General." Sam didn't have to turn to hear the Lieutenant finally walk away just before the door shut behind her.

"Sir, Major Carter reporting as ordered." She gave a salute.

General McConnell reached for another folder and pulled it in front of him. He'd yet to look at Sam. "Major Samantha Carter." He stated plainly. "I always wondered if we'd get you out here. Seeing as half of the requests that pass my desk mention your involvement in the original diagnostics, testing, or discovery of whatever godforsaken object or project these people want to work on."

Sam didn't know how to respond, or if she was supposed to for that matter.

"So, Major. Would you like to tell me _why_ you're here? Or would you rather hear the official report that I received? Either way, I'm pretty sure it's going to be rather… dramatic." His steely gaze finally lifted towards her own.

"How so, General?" Sam cocked her head to the side. His tone was enough to push her buttons, especially with the words being said with it. Her promise to herself to suck it up no matter what was quickly washed away as her fears became recognized. There would be no mercy. Her eyes challenged him to continue.

"I'll take that as my queue then." He leaned back in his chair, never offering her a seat in return. "According to the information sent to me, you've been charged with behavior unbecoming of an officer…regulations offense of the highest degree, especially in your line of work, Major."

"Sir, if you've read the report then you know that those charges were questionable in the very least. I was never formally charged with anything. This is all based on fabrications."

"And yet, here you are."

"Sir?"

"Major, I don't care what the papers say. You wouldn't be here if they didn't think you were guilty of something. So as far as those in charge are concerned, you are guilty. And everyone you run into on this base is going to think that very same thing."

"Sir, with all due respect…"

"No, with all due respect…Major! I'm not telling you this to hear myself speak. And I'm not trying to remind you of what you're being accused of. I'm trying to make you understand that you're not at the SGC. You aren't going to have any friends here to side with you. Rumors are like a disease on a military base. And there is no vaccine on this one. I can assure you that every person who will be under your command will be giving you their full respect, and their full cooperation. But I can also assure you that with every glance they make, they'll be wondering exactly how long you and your dear colonel were breaking regulations back at the SGC."

Sam's nostrils flaired. "We DIDN'T break any regulations, SIR."

"I never said you did." McConnell picked up a folder from his messy pile and walked around his desk towards Sam. "In fact, I'm almost positive that you didn't."

Sam lost control of her tongue as she took in what he had said. "Sir?"

"I don't care how important the Stargate Program is, Major Carter. But if something had happened between you and Colonel O'Neill, then something else would be going down entirely. Instead of discharging one of you, or demotion, or even a clear mark on your records as to what happened, it's come down to this. Apparently SG-1 pissed off the wrong people. And from what I've read, it was probably for doing the right thing."

Sam bit back her words. She had been flabbergasted in her life only a few times, but this added to the number for sure. General McConnell had started out as her new seeming enemy, but he was suddenly on her side. There had to be a catch.

"Here are your new orders Major. There's a team waiting for you in your lab. David will take you there. Dismissed."

Sam stepped forward and retrieved the newest folder that had been pulled from the stack on the general's desk. As soon as she took it, McConnell was back to his paperwork. Not another spoken word would pass between them for some time.

* * *

Four weeks had passed in Colorado Springs since Sam Carter had left the population. It wasn't unusual for her to be gone for long periods of time. But usually that was because she was off world, saving the galaxy. Now she was gone for good, to a top secret military base that was anything like the top secret one she had worked at for the better part of eight years.

Rodney McKay was the new science expert of SG-1, and no one was taking it lightly. Especially not Jack O'Neill.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"The Pillsbury Doughboy, Daniel. Who do you think I'm talking about?" Jack's irritation had become his dominant feature over the past weeks, and Daniel didn't even cringe at his raised voice.

Daniel did sigh though. "McKay said he had to get some equipment from his lab. A laptop or something."

"And that takes how long exactly?" Jack grumbled.

"It takes as long as it will take O'Neill." Teal'c interjected. At the Jaffa's own utterance of irritation, Jack clamped his mouth shut and shifted his attention to the gate. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take it.

"I'm here!" Rodney shouted before huffing and puffing his way towards the ramp base.

"Dial it up Walter!" Jack hollered.

"Yes, Sir." Came the amplified response.

The wormhole formed, and the four men made their way up the ramp, Jack and Teal'c, followed by Rodney and Daniel.

"You know McKay, you really are going to have to pick up the pace. Colonel O'Neill doesn't like waiting when we have a deadline." Daniel remarked a few feet from the event horizon.

Jack and Teal'c disappeared before them, into the shimmering miracle.

"I would have been on time, if someone hadn't stopped me." Rodney's tone changed suddenly. It became a mixture of humor and hyperactivity. "One of the scientists in the lab…Ferret…Forest…Felt…something or another, anyways, he seems to have some off the wall idea as to why Major Carter was transferred to Area 51!"

The two paused before pool of light. Daniel arched his brow, ready for the latest rumor. They had done a good job of covering for Sam's removal from the program. Going so far as to create a few rumors of their own: personal reasons, family issues, need for a change of scenery, and best of all, Area 51 just couldn't hack it without her. "And what reason would that be?" Daniel didn't wait for an answer before stepping into the wormhole.

Believing only Daniel would be close enough for their conversation, McKay hopped through quickly, eager to report his absurd finding.

"He said that Sam was having an affair with…" Rodney came face to face with a very angry, very armed, Jack O'Neill.

* * *

Amazingly enough, Sam wasn't having any more luck with rumors. The only problem was that no one was talking to her face about them. She would go through the routine, day by day. Her assistants would smile their fake smiles. They would fill her coffee. There were some who were promising enough to be transferred to the field she thought. But at the same time she was growing bitter as to their words, and would begrudge them any recommendation.

Today was one of those days when it got harder for Sam to walk into her lab. She had been called to one of the weapons labs to help with an unstable power source, and was finished so quickly that the scientists left behind in her lab had no idea she would be back so soon. She heard the hurried voices of two men and paused outside the doorway to listen to what she already knew was being said.

"Surprised she's stayed."

"What are you talking about, you think she's going to quit?" The second voice replied.

"Well, maybe not quit, but…she's been here every day since she started. I'd have thought she'd have gone back to Colorado Springs, I mean at least for a weekend or something."

"Why? She doesn't seem like the type who has a family. I mean, look at the way she works around here. That's a lifestyle."

"She might not have a family, but…I'd have thought she'd have gone back to see _him_."

"Him?"

"You know, her boss, O'Neill."

"What the hell are you talking about?" The voice was more excited than confused. "_Colonel_ O'Neill! SG-1?"

"Yep."

"No, seriously, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the part where _Colonel_ O'Neill and _Major_ Carter liked to come back from alien planets and play house."

"No way. You've been listening to those women in diagnostics again haven't you?"

"No. It's on record, if you know where to look. Major Carter got sent here because she and O'Neill were accused of having inappropriate relations. And who could blame him?"

The other man laughed a bit, no doubt nodding in admitance. "But still, you just said 'accused' that doesn't mean anything."

"Why else would she be here then?"

There was a pause, and a deep breath. "Yeah, you're right. I wonder how they got caught."

Now was the other's turn to laugh. "I can only imagine…"

Before they could see her, Sam decided to go for a coffee break; and the argument in her head rose up once more.

"_There was no inappropriate relationship. Of course, you wouldn't think that the way everyone's talking. I wish they'd all just stop talking. Stop thinking about it. Thinking. That's all I ever got to do. I never did anything but think. WE never did anything but think. And here I am, hiding in the hallway, afraid to go into my own lab. They're all looking at me. Even the SFs. They're all staring at me when they think I don't know they're there. Thinking, 'she's the one'. 'That's Major Carter…O'Neill's'…Oh, screw them. Screw them all. They don't know anything. They don't know us!_

_"I only ever thought it. Of course I wouldn't even admit that. No point in denying that is there? Yes, there is a point. But denying that would make denying the rest pointless. If they asked the right questions, I'd have the wrong answers. _

_'Do you have feelings for your commanding officer?' Scratch that, __**former**__ commanding officer."_

_'Yes.'_

_'For how long?'_

_'I'm not sure?'_

_"That's right Sam. Admit it. You DON'T know. How long? A year? No, more than a year. Three? Definitely longer than that. But an exact year, an exact date. You don't know that. Love. That's the key. Oh God, not that word. Not that horrible, deadly word. Love. Why has it taken so long to think of it? That word. That feeling. No, I've thought of the feeling, just not what it means. Why now? Why four weeks after I've said my goodbyes? Absence and the heart? No. Stop. Stop thinking about it Major. _

_"Love. Damn it._

_"How long? How long have I loved him? Oh God, no. I can't think about this. I put this behind me. Let it go. Even if they won't, I've got to._

_"But I've loved him for so long. I loved all of them though. The problem was when loving turned into being **in** love. But I'll never say it."_

Sam threw her empty paper cup into the receptacle and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Those telling tears had come back again, saying what she never would.

* * *

**A/N: So, I went to a Taylor Swift concert…and got some good inspiration. :D Jack's chapter about what's going on in his head is next, followed by what I like to call…OMG for short; and it's not what you think. **

**Hope you're still enjoying the story. Thank you to each and every one of you for your reviews. I am really happy to get so much feedback. This story is truly unlike anything I've done before, and your words help me so much. So thank you! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	11. Two Down

**Two Down**

He wasn't going to be able to get away from it. It was going to follow him forever. _She_ was going to follow him forever. And truth be told, he didn't want that last part to not be true. He knew things weren't going to work out this time. Not like they had all those times before. It was going to take more than a miracle and a call on a red phone to get Sam Carter back on his team where she belonged, and more importantly back into his life.

And now this bumbling oaf of a man was supposed to replace her. Rodney McKay was smart granted, but he was no Carter. No one ever seemed to be able to understand what that meant. SG-1 needed a scientific mind, that part was clear. But Sam Carter had played a much more valuable part than just the brains (and being one hell of a soldier). Even though most people would have argued, Sam included, that Daniel Jackson was the voice of reason on SG-1, it was more often than not Sam Carter's opinion that would push Jack O'Neill over the line on the most difficult of choices. When Daniel disapproved of his choices, he felt warned, and considered the outcomes more closely. But when those disagreements were supported with a concerned glance from Sam, Jack was somehow more eager to see things in a new light. And now the light was draining from him faster and faster as the days without her went by. Jack knew he couldn't keep this up for much longer. Retirement was looking better and better; the last of his years played out in solitude on the end of a deck in Minnesota.

"…with…" The grating voice broke him out of his thoughts. He had no idea what the scientist was talking about this time, or more than likely complaining about, but Jack was rather certain that he didn't care. That's why he threw a quizzical look at Daniel who seemed almost mortified for some reason as he stared at McKay. And come to think of it, the dweeb looked a bit scared himself.

Jack straightened. "McKay!"

"Yes…" He was shaking. Jack was a little more confident that his command was finally being taken seriously.

"You and Daniel get to work looking for signs of…intelligence…in say…that direction." He pointed to a random point in the woods that surrounded the gate. "Teal'c and I are going this way. Keep in contact."

Jack turned and proceeded after the Jaffa who had gone on his way immediately after hearing his orders.

Daniel waited until Jack was out of hearing range before coming up behind Rodney. "You and I need to talk. Now."

"Okay." Rodney whimpered. He really had been afraid the colonel was going to kill him, and that alone left Daniel with no doubt as to who was about to be implicated in the latest rumor about Sam's absence from the program. Finally the untrue truth had gotten out. And no matter how false the statements were, they were backed up on paper, and that was enough to ruin someone.

They had made their way into the woods by about a kilometer when Daniel started the conversation that McKay was obviously terrified of now that he had almost spilled it to O'Neill. "So, Sam's having an affair?" His tone was so casual that it unnerved McKay even further.

"Look, I'm just telling you what I heard."

"Just making conversation Rodney. So, who's the guy? Anyone I know?"

McKay stopped walking and crossed his arms over his chest to complete his sardonic stance. "Yes, as a matter of fact you do."

Daniel turned to face him. "Really? I don't think that could be so."

"Oh you don't do you?" McKay retorted. He realized it was a touchy subject, but he didn't like being played with. "Last time I checked you've known Jack O'Neill longer than Sam has."

Daniel took a gentle step forward and rolled his eyes with thought. "Actually I have, by one whole mission."

"And?" McKay pressed.

Daniel's mocking expression fell flat as he stood straight and with purpose. "I didn't need more than that one mission to know that Jack O'Neill plays by the book when it comes to some things. This is one of them. And aside from that, he wouldn't jeopardize the career of a teammate. Jack and Sam are being played as pawns in a game of chess between the government and those who are vying for control of the Stargate."

Rodney looked from side to side. "What the hell are you talking about? I was just telling you about some stupid rumor, and now you're acting like this is some huge conspiracy!"

"Because it is Rodney!" Daniel was practically pleading now. "We made enemies of the wrong people, and now Sam is paying for it. And so are we."

Rodney snorted. "Oh, so you're saying _I'm_ punishment."

Daniel shrugged. "In a way. I'm not saying this to down rate you Dr. McKay, but our team was in perfect balance. And now, we're falling apart without Sam. Of course, I'd appreciate it if you kept that to yourself."

Daniel turned and began to walk away. He made it six steps before he heard the fallen leaves crunching beneath a quicker moving set of feet. "Under one condition!"

"There are no conditions, Rodney."

"No, no. Hear me out. I want to know one thing."

"One?"

"What really happened? I mean of all the rumors, or accusations, why that one? I mean obviously there was some kind of merit to it…"

Daniel pinched his brow under the nose pads of his glasses. "McKay…"

"I think I have a right to know. I never wanted to be on an SG team, I'm being played here too you know."

Daniel stared at the man for a moment. "Alright, I guess you have a point. But unless you're using it to dispute the rampant rumor mill, keep this to yourself!" Daniel warned.

Rodney just nodded in response.

"Okay, Jack O'Neill and Sam Carter…where to begin…"

* * *

"O'Neill!"

"Yeah?"

"I do not believe there is anything to be found on this world that merits further investigation."

Jack looked around as if something may magically appear in the distances of trees and more trees. "You may be on to something Teal'c." He surveyed the time on his watch. "Of course we'll want it to look like we gave it a little more time…what do you say we practice our tracking skills and hunt down a couple of nerds?"

Teal'c cocked his head to the side. "If you are referring to Daniel Jackson and Dr. McKay then I am with you O'Neill."

"Right…" Jack straightened his cap and held a hand out to indicate the direction to head. "After you."

Teal'c bowed and took the lead. Jack followed, wishing they were hunting a pair of nerds who differed by one. Teal'c did too probably, but he wasn't letting on.

* * *

"Jack and Sam are just, different." Daniel sighed and clapped his hands against his legs. "I mean, they like each other a lot…I mean we all do…" Daniel shook his head. This was far harder than he thought it would be. "You can't go through the things we go through without developing…a bond."

Rodney was about to go cross-eyed. "So you're saying there is something between them?"

"No!" Daniel was completely exasperated. "I'm saying there is nothing between them that _shouldn't _be between them. Granted our team is closer than the military would usually prefer, or for that matter allow…"

"But you aren't military Dr. Jackson. Sam and Colonel O'Neill are. That's a difference."

"It's that difference that made it possible for them to punish the team." Daniel huffed and dragged a hand over his mouth. "If I had been military, they could have accused Sam and I of the exact same thing. But I'm not and Jack is. So they pinned it on them. Understand?"

Rodney looked away and parted his lips with an exhale. "Yeah, I guess I see where you're coming from."

"You guess?" If looks could kill.

"Oh come on! You just sat here and described a bond between you four that is so unbreakable…_so_ special. And now you're trying to convince me that there's not even the slightest bit of a chance…that…"

"Not even the slightest." Daniel growled.

"Look, I appreciate the lecture on why there are a hundred reasons that this 'affair' never happened. But you've given me at least a hundred other reasons to think that it could have." Rodney was serious. Daniel knew that his reasoning wasn't necessarily going to work. It was so much more based on personal feelings that mere verbal descriptions. Jack and Sam were his family, he saw them differently. Nothing else was there. Nothing would be. And yet a nagging had begun to grow since things began to go down hill.

"Rodney, what is it going to take to convince you that nothing happened between Jack and Sam?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe if Colonel O'Neill came out and said, 'No, I never had any extra curricular fun with my second in command!'" Rodney's hands were on his hips by this point, and while it wasn't his intention, he was looking rather smug. Of course anyone who had heard the reasoning he had may still be questioning just how much Daniel Jackson may have been in denial.

"Okay, fine. I never had an affair with my second in command."

Rodney's eyes bulged and his jaw clinched.

Daniel became pale and his eyes rolled back in his head as the lids slid slowly shut. "Jack, I can explain…"

"No need Daniel. You and Teal'c head back to the 'gate. Dial her up."

"Jack…"

"Right _now_, Daniel. That's an order." The fire in his eyes told Daniel not to question again. He made his way past Rodney who still stood with his back to O'Neill. He couldn't help but throw him one last sharp glance.

"O'Neill."

"Teal'c, that order applied to you too."

"I understand O'Neill, but I do not believe it wise to leave you alone with Dr. McKay at this time."

Jack spun on his heels. "Damn it Teal'c. For once, follow my orders." Had it been any other situation, Jack would have been rather shocked by the fact that he had finally made the unwavering Jaffa cringe, but this wasn't that time. His eyes followed Teal'c as he hurried to catch up with Daniel who had slowed for him to do so.

McKay's bottom lip trembled before he got it under control and turned to look at the menacing face that awaited. Jack was stone before him. "Colonel, I was just clarifying…"

"Clarify this then." Jack stepped forward three paces, two fingers finding a place a mere inch from the space between Rodney's eyes. "If you ever insinuate that Carter did something to jeopardize her career, ever again, I will find out, and I will deal with it."

Rodney adjusted his standing. "Is that…is that a threat?"

"Consider it a promise." Jack loomed for another moment before proceeding to the Stargate as well, Rodney collecting his pride off the leaf littered ground behind him.

The wormhole had just formed as Jack arrived at the clearing.

"Jack, where's McKay?"

"He'll be here in a minute." O'Neill conceded.

"You didn't…"

"No, Daniel, I didn't hurt him. At least not yet."

"O'Neill, perhaps we should consider asking for a replacement for Dr. McKay." Teal'c suggested.

"No. No, I think old Dr. McKay can stay right where he is." Jack replied.

"Jack, please, we can deal with this. If we talk to Elizabeth I'm sure she'll find a replacement."

"Good. Let her find a replacement then. For me."

"What? Why?" Daniel was spluttering by now.

"Because…" Jack turned towards the woods as McKay broke free of them. "He cannot do this job!"

"Jack, that's no reason to…"

"Excuse me?!" Rodney had no idea what he had walked into this time, but he did have a bit of a fear creeping back up that he may not make it back in the same condition he had left.

"You are not the right person for this job!" Jack spat. He was so tense that the veins in his temples were throbbing.

"I may not have wanted this job, but I can do it just as well as the next person, if not better." Arrogance was to be his downfall.

"Oh I beg to differ." Jack was advancing towards him once more, but Teal'c stepped forward, ready to intervene.

Rodney snorted. "Well excuse me if I'm no Sam Carter."

And with that, Jack finally snapped.

"You're damn right you're no Sam Carter!" He yelled so loudly that the trees themselves seemed to shrink back. Teal'c had a hand around his commander's upper arm at this point, and Jack's breathing was becoming so irregular that it was hard to tell if his lungs were going to hold up. "And if she's not on this team, than neither am I." He pulled off his cap and made a beeline for the 'gate.

* * *

Despite his outburst off world, Jack remained silent all the way through the medical exam, until he reached the men's locker room. Daniel had patiently persuaded McKay to remain silent about what had happened on the planet, and surprising he had given little if any fight to the request. Now Daniel and Teal'c sat on opposite sides of a bench, watching a more than slightly flustered Jack O'Neill throwing his personal effects into a duffle.

"Jack. You can't quit. Sam wouldn't want you to give up."

"Well Sam's not here to tell me not to now is she Daniel?"

Had he really just called her Sam? Daniel shook his head. "Jack, this is not the way to go about this. We can have McKay replaced, find someone less likely to…provoke you." Daniel shrugged at Teal'c who seemed to think something else should be said but had nothing to offer at the time.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long?"

"What time period do you speak of O'Neill?"

"How long have people been giving Carter a bad name on this base? Since the day she left? How long?"

"Jack, it's rumors…it doesn't mean anything…"

"Daniel, it was rumors that got us here in the first place!" Jack slammed the metal door shut and the entire row of lockers rattled.

"Jack, just shut up for five seconds and listen to us!" Daniel jumped to his feet, and had anyone just walked in they would have sworn he was prepared to take Jack out. "We already lost Sam over this load of political crap; we're not going to lose you too! Sam wouldn't want it, and we sure as hell don't want it! Now I know you're having a hard time with this, but you need to remember that we are too!"

Jack blinked slowly. "I am well aware of that Daniel. But I am also aware that your name isn't on the document as a co-conspirator. Carter isn't here because of _me_."

"And _you_ didn't do anything." Daniel reminded him. "You were framed, just like Sam, but by a twist of fate, you got to stay here."

Jack balled his fists and raised them beside his face before slowly moving them back down below his waist. "Give me another option."

Daniel sighed and looked to Teal'c who stood and moved towards them. "Perhaps O'Neill, you do need time away from SG-1. But merely to collect your thoughts. It would be beneficial to the entire team if you were to find your former sense of balance. I for one cannot continue on our missions in this manner."

Daniel nodded in agreement. It was becoming harder to tell which was causing the most trouble, not having Sam around, or the foul mood that her absence had left in Jack.

* * *

"Colonel O'Neill, can I help you?" Dr. Weir seemed busy so he decided to make it quick.

"I know our debriefing isn't for another hour, but I'd like to speak with you if I may."

"Of course." She waved a hand in front of her. "Please, have a seat."

Jack did as he was told. "I won't make this long, but I'd like to request some time for personal leave."

"Oh?" Weir squeezed her eyes a bit closer together. "Would this have anything to do with Dr. McKay? Because Colonel, there are other options.."

"McKay is only part of it." He interrupted. "Honestly, I don't think I'm performing my duties as commanding officer of SG-1 properly right now, and I believe some time off to think, may help me rectify that. I need to clear some things up with myself."

Weir pressed her lips tightly together as she nodded. "I think I understand." And truth be told, for the most part she did. "How long do you need?"

"I'm not sure…I was planning on working it out on a dock over a fishless pond."

"What do you say I give you a week, if you think you need more time, get in contact with me before then and I'll think about getting you a temporary replacement. I think SG-1 as a whole could use some more time off to get their things together. Dr. Jackson is needed on another team right now actually, and the science department is so backed up without Major Carter that they could really use Dr. McKay as well." She licked her lips. "Will that work with you Colonel?"

Jack tried to hide the vacancy in his eyes. "Yes ma'am. Thank you."

He rose from the seat and left. One debriefing to go, and then one long truck ride to the seclusion and tranquility that would hopefully allow him to fight whatever demons were in him now, and in some part tame them so that he could get back to doing the job only he could do.

* * *

When had the wonderland of Minnesota become a desert? That was the thought that made Jack realize what he had done, whether or not it was subconscious. But here he was, in a truck parked outside an apartment complex in hot and horrible Nevada. Parked or not, he was white knuckling the steering wheel still.

There was still time to turn the truck around and go where they all thought he would be. Where he said he had gone. Where they were told not to contact him.

Jack took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the vehicle.

He raised his hand to the door before him and knocked. What was he supposed to say if and when it was answered? Time was up to think, as the door before him swung open.

"Hi?" The woman who answered the door looked at him from head to toe, wondering what had brought him to her doorstep.

"Uh…hi…I'm uh…"

"Selling something?"

Jack snapped out of it. "Oh, no. I'm actually looking for someone who moved here but I don't think they've put the name on the box yet so I'm not sure of the number."

"Oh, well in that case maybe I can help you!" The woman was suddenly much more cheerful and he knew how she felt. Strangers selling things door to door could be a bit aggravating at times. "Who are you looking for?"

"Major Carter."

"Major Carter…" The woman thought for a moment and Jack was beginning to think he'd found the wrong complex, except for the familiar vehicle he saw parked in the single lot.

"She's about, yea high…" He indicated in comparison to himself. "Blond…"

"She! Oh, you mean Samantha!"

Jack suddenly smiled and the woman felt a bit weak in the knees before she remembered her husband back inside the apartment wrestling their son for the last cookie that he was going to split with him either way. "Yes! That's her. Do you know where she lives?"

"Oh, sure, sure. Just go up one and over to the left, and then…oh you know what, it probably would be easier for me to just take you there, give me one sec." She turned and hollered back. "Babe! I'm gonna be out for just a second, I'm heading over to Samantha's!"

A burly voice echoed back. "Who?"

"I'll be back!" She replied and closed the door behind her. "Okay, follow me. I'm Alicia by the way!" The woman held out a hand to go along with her cheerful smile.

"Alicia." O'Neill nodded and shook her hand. "I'm…Jack." No one was going to be asking around anyway. Of course at this point there was no turning back. Obviously this woman was in some sort of contact with Sam, and his description alone would give him away.

"So, how do you know Samantha?" Alicia inquired as she led the way.

"Um…we uh, used to work together."

"Military? I'm only asking because she wears that blasted uniform every day. She really is a pretty woman, that uniform doesn't do her justice."

Jack just cocked his head to the side hoping she would continue on her own without too much response. "Yeah, Air Force."

"We've spoken a few times. I'm the welcome wagon around here and all. Such a sweet woman, I was surprised to see her move out to this place all by herself. So sad."

"How's that?" Jack had a feeling she was talking about more than one thing being 'sad'.

"Well, you're her friend…" She studied Jack for a minute at the notion and shook herself back to the conversation. "I'm sure she'll perk up if she sees someone from home. She just seems so down. I see her come and go at the most ungodly hours, may be out even now, and even when she smiles it's like she doesn't mean it. Doesn't reach her eyes, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." And he did. He'd studied every smile and every meaning behind ever smile. And now each of those meanings was telling him to turn back, turn around, get in the truck and leave before they consume you. But it was too late.

"Well, here we are. I really do hope you can cheer her up!" And with that the welcome lady smiled and swiftly made her way back to her family.

"Thanks." Jack called after her. He knew she was in there. He'd seen her car in the lot. And then there was the fact that he just knew.

* * *

Sam had laid down for the first nap she could get all week. This new job was draining her body of sleep, and her spirit of something deeper. She cursed inwardly as the doorbell rang. No one had rung it yet and it took a moment for her to put the sound with a source.

Groggily she made her way to the door, ran her fingers through her hair, and straightened the tank top that she had put on along with some pajama pants. Upon opening the door she thought that perhaps she had fallen asleep after all, and was now dreaming the whole account.

"Sir?" Sam let her fingers slide off the doorknob. "What…what are you doing here?"

He had no response, because in all honesty, as soon as he saw her, he'd forgotten how he had gotten to her door.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all for reading. And Thank you MADA for urging me to continue. Sorry for the long wait, but like I said, thank Madaline7 for the update! Hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think! **

**Happy Thanksgiving!**


	12. In or Out

**In or Out**

"Sir?" Sam repeated again. She wasn't sure what else to say. She was hoping that the man standing in her doorway had some answer other than the ones streaming through mind.

"Uh, hi there, Carter."

"Hi, sir." Jack couldn't help but grin at the befuddled look on her face. God he had missed that face. She kept staring at him too; one hand on her door as she peered around it. Her hair was disheveled and her attire was something he wasn't sure he had seen before, not that it bothered him.

Jack stared some more and then realized she was waiting for him to say something. "So, I uh…was on my way to my cabin and I thought I would stop for a minute on the way and see how things were in…sunny…Nevada." The most awkward attempt at a smile spread on his face, no teeth, just doubt.

"Sir, your cabin is in Minnesota."

Jack cocked his head to the side. "I know that Carter. Are you going to invite me in or not?"

Sam shook her head to catch her thoughts. "Oh, yes, sorry sir." She pulled the door open the rest of the way for him to come in and waved him towards the less than spacious living area with her free hand. He didn't wait for her but walked into the small space and began looking around with a disappointed stare.

"Carter…you haven't unpacked…anything." He could feel that she was behind him. He could smell her familiar scent, as odd as that thought was to him, in the air around him. More so, he could hear her breathing and knew that she was uncomfortable. But she wasn't answering. He turned. She was in pajamas, and hair messed up. "Oh, gosh Carter, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Still no response. In fact, her stance wasn't what he would consider inviting.

"Carter?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I already told you sleepyhead, I just stopped by to say 'hi' on my way to the cabin."

Sam nodded. "Does anybody know that you were making a stop on the way?"

Jack shifted his weight on his feet. "Meaning?"

She sighed, shoulders heaving up before falling limp at her sides. "I'm asking how many people know you were making this stop on the way." She seemed disappointed at him and he couldn't help but compare this stare to the one he had received when they had left Alar's planet behind. This was different, but the same basic disappointment was there and Jack felt a pit in his stomach begin to shift.

"No one, Carter. In fact, I didn't know I was coming here myself until I parked my truck!"

Sam's mouth twisted into an awkward expression in response as she continued to look at him strangely, then he realized that she was avoiding eye contact. Given, it was avoidance technique they had both done on occasion for rather important reasons, but no one was here to judge them or lay further blame. It was just the two of them, and Jack couldn't help but allow his worry to grow when he couldn't read her eyes. So Jack did what he did best, he just stared straight at her, unconsciously willing her own eyes to turn towards his. Eventually fate or some higher power worked in his favor.

Carter's blue eyes moved ever so slowly until they locked onto his, and for just one brief moment Jack thought everything was going to be okay. Her eyes weren't telling him what her posture was though. They weren't upset with him, they weren't uneasy, they were happy to see him there. But Sam would always be a hard person to read when it came to other things. And Jack never expected her next word.

"Why?"

"Because I miss you! Damn it, we all do! I just wanted to come and see how you were. I don't trust Daniel's phone calls and I suck at words, so I figured actually _seeing_ you would maybe, sorta-kinda tell me you were doing better…but obviously you aren't!" He added for good measure, and was sure it struck a nerve when her face began to redden in her cheeks, slowly creeping to her nose and forehead.

"I appreciate the concern, sir, but I'm fine. And you really shouldn't have come here." She gnashed her teeth and Jack knew she didn't mean it. At least, she didn't want to mean it.

"Carter, no one knows I'm here. I just want to know that you're going to be okay…that, hell, that we are. Calls get monitored in our line of work and I didn't want to cause you any more trouble…but I had to do something!"

"You've done enough. We both have. And we're just going to have to live with it."

Jack crossed his arms to keep from flailing them around in his anger. "Carter, just stop! Don't start this, not now. I told myself I came here to make sure you were okay, and that's the truth, but I needed to see you for other reasons too. I know you're having a hard time whether you want to admit it or not because I sure as hell am. It's not going so well without you."

Sam's eyes glittered in the light and her nostrils flared as she fought for emotional control. "I'm sorry, that you're having a hard time…and I do miss the team, but if anyone knew you were here…"

Jack knew something was eating its way to the surface and he reached out a gentle hand and placed it on her shoulder. "What? Carter, what's going on?"

Her gaze floated in a dreamlike state towards his hand that was still resting on her shoulder. "Rumors tend to follow you everywhere. At least you got to keep the guys for support…what did I get?"

Jack didn't know what was controlling him, but he didn't care. He reached his other and up and placed it as gently as he knew how on the side of her face, softly dragging his thumb along her cheekbone. "You've still got me." He whispered.

Sam's mind filled with a thousand wishful images from the years, and the conclusions to each made a tear well up and fall. Her own hand raised and lay on top of his own. "I never had you." She frowned. "And I never will." She wrapped her fingers around his hand and pulled it away from her face, looking away before trying to walk away as well. But Jack was too fast and pulled her back by the crook of her arm as tenderly but forcibly as he could.

"Then you look me in the eye and tell me you're just fine and dandy here all by yourself with no one to talk to and a thousand miles from home, and I'll go."

Sam puffed up for some extra support to her reply. "I'm fine and dandy, sir."

"Fine." Jack replied in a hushed tone that she didn't know he was capable of. He gave her one last sad glance before he led himself towards the door and then out. She was shocked he hadn't at least growled the word. And truth be told, Jack was surprised that he had let anyone see that side of him, even Carter.

She stood there watching the door for ages before shuffling into the small kitchen to pour herself a drink. Anything to wash the lump out of her throat. She stared into the open refrigerator door as the light let her eyes focus on nothing and her mind on everything. She stepped back, leaving the door wide open. What was driving her she didn't know, but insanity seemed to be the best answer as she flew to the front door, knocking a badly stacked tower of boxes over, and cutting her arm open at the same time. She reached the door and swung it open. "Wait!"

Jack was standing there against the railing, looking out over the small attempt at a cactus garden below. "Well that was quick." He smirked.

Sam replied with a half hysterical giggle that quickly turned to tears. "I'm sorry…I just…"

He stepped away from the balcony edge and towards her open door. "I know." He had gotten less than a foot away from her and had to pitch his head down to catch her glance as she tilted her own back and looked at him glassy eyed. And then in a very un-Carter like manner, she threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around his chest and clinging tightly.

"Jack…" She started, and his own grip closed tight around her as she said his name in such an open way, allowing him to see her scars and pain, and frailty with just one word. "Don't leave me here…"

He leaned his own head down and nestled it in the crook of her neck. "I'm not leaving you." He promised out loud.

Her own stance had become so reliant on his as she held him that he was able to maneuver them both into the apartment and shut the door without much hassle. Making it to the small couch where she continued to cling to him for a comfort she had never had was another story.

**

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A/N: My Christmas present to my friend Madaline-7!!!

**Merry Christmas to all as well!!!! Thank you for reading and for all your reviews!!!**


	13. Burnt Offerings

**Burnt Offerings **

A dull whir stirred in Jack's left ear. The right was buried too far into a pillow to capture any of it. Peering out through the tiny slits his eyes agreed to open, he was blinded by the brilliant dessert light. Rolling onto his back he could decipher that the whir was a leaf-blower being used more as a sand-blower by the apartment complex's grounds keepers.

Reaching out with his hand because his eyes were still unwilling to cooperate with the bright light coming through the white curtains, he realized that the person who he had fallen asleep next to was no longer there. The image of her face caught him in a brief, but all too pleasant reminder of the night before, and his sensitive eyes failed him. He sat straight up in the bed, studied the room around him, and remembered the string of events that had followed his arrival. Somewhere along the way, his comforting Sam on the couch had turned into a comfort both of them had been craving for years. Why something that had seemed a release the night before suddenly made his stomach quake was uncertain, but the fact that the person he had shared it with was gone added a strange fear to the equation.

He found what he could of his clothing, dressed haphazardly, then made his way down the petite apartment hall to find her.

* * *

"Well, hello."

"Good morning, Daniel."

"What are you doing here?"

The older man's brow raised and his wrinkled forehead drove into his scalp. "Thanks for the warm welcome. Good to know I can be gone for long periods of time without anyone missing me. Especially after such a strenuous attempt at destroying an ascended bad guy."

Daniel shook his head as if it could erase the air he had come in on. This was the last person he expected to find here. He was expecting Dr. Weir, who had sent for him. The debriefing room was often a busy place, but when no SG teams were scheduled to use it, it was a sanctuary he often found to avoid the troubles around him; as well as in his mind. This visitor however, just seemed to double them. "Sorry, Jacob. Just didn't expect to see you for a while after…well…yeah."

Jacob cocked his head to the side with that strange look that no one but Sam could tell if it meant humored or perturbed. "Daniel, could you please explain to me why everyone, including yourself, is acting so strange around me? I spoke with Dr. Weir, whom I like by the way, but when I asked about Sam she said she'd send SG-1 right up. Until now, I didn't find that strange."

"Strange how?"

"Strange as in, you're the only member of SG-1 to show up. I usually get the fanfare. My daughter's especially."

"Oh, well…about that…"

"Jacob Carter!" Teal'c's booming welcome was just that, welcomed. Daniel needed backup now more than ever.

"Hello, Teal'c. Good to see it getting a little more crowded around here. Sam and Jack on their way?"

Teal'c threw an openmouthed caught off guard expression to Daniel who rolled his eyes with accepting the fact that this was it. Time to offer up the sacrifice, and they were the ones who were going to get burned this time.

"Actually Jacob, they aren't…"

"What's all this about?! I was in the middle of a very important set of tests over the technology found on…who are you?" Add one more sacrifice to the barbeque.

"Jacob Carter…who are you?"

"Carter?" Rodney blinked and did his birdlike head pull that he often used when confused, though Rodney McKay was never confused if you believed a word he said on the matter.

Daniel broke in. "Jacob, this is Dr. Rodney McKay, he's a scientist who has been assigned to SG-1." Now what?

"Really?" Jacob looked astounded. "Did Sam need an assistant?" He looked away from McKay and towards Daniel. "Jack really went along with this?"

"Colonel O'Neill didn't have much say in the matter." Rodney broke in, having been insulted by being left out of the loop once more. "And I'm no one's assistant."

Jacob bristled and crossed his arms. "Really? Then why are you on SG-1?"

"Jacob maybe now isn't…" But Daniel was too late to stop the fireworks since the fuses were already lit.

"Because," Rodney stood taller. "I'm Major Carter's replacement."

"Replacement?!" Jacob spat as if it were a curse. "Daniel, what the hell is going on here? I haven't been gone that long have I?"

Daniel closed his eyes tightly and looked down. How was he going to explain this?

* * *

"Hey."

He watched her fingers curl around the sink basin before she replied with a quiet. "Hey." She reached for the faucet and turned on the water, never looking in his direction. Then she picked up a dish and began to wash it even though there was a dishwasher no more than two feet away. "I have to go into work in an hour. R 'n D is working on a new subspace disruptor system to set up in high orbit as a possible defense against any future replicator or technology based life forms. They're basing it off of the replicator disruptor that Thor developed from the model you made when you still had the Ancient database in your mind. I'm not sure it's going to work though…" She put the dish she had scrubbed in the drain basket then reached for another, scrubbing it just as hard as the first, and Jack half expected her fingers to start bleeding at any moment.

"Carter…"

"You still going to call me 'Carter' after last night?"

Jack licked his lips. "Sam."

The dish in her hand fell into the sink and shattered. Apparently it was a metaphor for what was transpiring before them. "What the hell were we thinking?" It was rhetorical. He knew it was. But he let himself do it again and he spoke.

"Well, I know what I was thinking…"

Sam spun around with a pointed finger like a scolding mother, but with a ferocity of a lover. "Don't start that!" She practically growled. "Not now." She shook her head, turned and slammed the faucet off then hurried past him, knocking his side as she went by. Jack grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Sam, what's the matter with you?" He knew what obviously caused this behavior, but how and why he couldn't fathom. "Sam, look at me."

She looked him in the eyes, confused and scared. "I have to get ready for work." It was a plea. He knew that tone. And it was that tone that made him suddenly realize what she was feeling. What she was thinking. And then it hit him too.

He let go of her arm and nodded for her to go on. He was the one who needed time to think now.

**

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**A/N: Apologies for the long break. Story to be finished in the next two weeks in lieu of my fanfic retirement. REVIEWS WILL MAKE IT QUICKER…hint hint :D **

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Unmerciful

**Unmerciful**

"This is outrageous! Daniel, this is completely unfounded. Tell me it's unfounded?" Jacob's rant had led them out of the briefing room and into a more private area; a locker room. Jacob had stopped at the locker designated to hold his civilian clothes for when he would return to Earth to visit his family. He had never expected to need to get to it so quickly before, but this situation warranted his expeditious nature.

"Well, of course." Daniel stuttered. He knew the answer was no. There was nothing between Sam and Jack, there never had been and never would be as far as he was concerned. Maybe there had been some potential, but truth be told, he had known the military rules after a short amount of training, and beyond that, they were all friends, nothing more. Weren't they?

"I've been involved in some heavy red tape in my life, and heard about some tricky maneuvers, but this is just ridiculous." Jacob spat as he pulled on a new shirt. Daniel turned as the man began to change from some odd animal product that looked like stomach lining, into a pair of jeans. "If Sam is in Nevada, I'm going."

Forget modesty. Daniel spun around. "Now?"

"Yes now, Daniel. And you're coming with me." Jacob was already headed to the door with a small bag in tow.

"Why me?" Daniel questioned with a bit of hope it didn't have to be him.

"Because you have a car."

"You'll need to get some kind of clearance to…"

"Where do you think we're going first? Besides, if anyone says no, they can consider the Tok'Ra-Earth alliance _over_."

Daniel bit his lip as the former general burst out of the room and left the locker room door swinging. This was going to be a disaster, he thought. If he only knew how right he was.

* * *

"…no aliens, no alcohol, that was all you." Jack growled at the mirror in front of him, preparing some kind of speech for Sam. His own expression that stared back was as unconvinced as he knew she would be. "If she comes home at all." He muttered. Truth be told, he had no idea how long Sam was usually at work, or if she even planned on coming back before she knew he was gone. She was stubborn like that. He knew better than he wanted to. But how was he going to convince her that the night before was alright, was supposed to happen, wouldn't affect anything. Better yet, how was he supposed to convince himself?

In the moment it had seemed the perfect solution, the best release. It was a freedom they had never had, a way to fully appreciate the only good that had come from Carter's reassignment. The look they had shared when she had finally stopped crying. She got up from the couch, not in the least concerned from their close proximity. Not nervous and ramrod straight as she had been when she came to tell him goodbye not long before, when he had been taken over once more by the Ancient Database. It was comfortable. It was right.

There were no words. He had shifted back in the couch, assuming that was where he would speak to her from as she fixed something in the kitchen, or rummaged around for something, anything to put a safe distance between them. But then he felt the comfort stay. It didn't dissipate from the room. If anything it engulfed it. She looked back from the doorway and he knew. The rest was fate.

But fate, as they had come to know over the years, was more often cruel than loving.

* * *

"Daniel Jackson, where are you going?"

Daniel turned around as if it took a great effort. He twitched in his civilian clothes before replying in a singsong voice. "Ne-va-da."

"Have you received some kind of special permission to visit Major Carter?" Teal'c seemed a bit hurt, but then again, it was hard to tell with Teal'c.

"Not like that Teal'c. I've been ordered to take Jacob to see her. You were invited too by the way, but I thought I'd save you from where this trip will most likely lead."

Realizing the implications of the reply, Teal'c arched his brow and lifted his head. "I understand. Thank you for sparing me from potential…distress. However, if at any time you require my assistance, I will be most willing to come and provide it."

"Thank you, Teal'c." Daniel rolled his eyes to show that Teal'c was getting a far better end of this deal, then made his way to meet Jacob and make the trip to Nevada. However, accommodations were going to become much quicker transportation thanks to certain connections of the Stargate Program.

* * *

The oval office is not an intimidating room. Surreal may describe the experience of being in it, but not intimidation. It would be more intimidating if the movies hadn't made it such a common place image. The real thing or not, you're pretty much ready for the Resolute Desk, the blue rug, and the great view that most offices don't have. Mr. Woolsey was therefore, unimpressed.

"Mr. President." He greeted as he was escorted in by the President's secretary.

"Ah... Mr. Woolsey. I was wondering when I'd see you here again."

Woolsey's mouth spread like a toad and his eyes narrowed. That may have been a snide remark, but he wasn't going to let it interfere with his work. He never let anything do that. Especially not feelings. Not if he could help it. "Were you, sir?"

The president motioned for him to sit across from him as he leaned back in his chair, already well adjusted to the position of power, at least the physical one. "I must admit I've been a little curious about the Stargate Program. Seeing as a couple of months ago I was certain we were the only intelligent, for the most part, beings in this universe."

"I see." Woolsey replied dryly. "Well, sir, I can assure you from personal meetings, we are not." An image of Teal'c flashed in his mind and he felt a little uneasy. Somehow he was sure if he ran into him again, he may not leave the meeting so intact.

The two men continued with a rather dry rapport. Woolsey's lack of humor and the President's lack of concern over protocol made it all the more unenthusiastic. It was a hard conclusion to reach, seeing as they were discussion intergalactic policies and warfare, but the truth was, even that could come down to paperwork. Then came another issue which had come down to paperwork, and once which had spread out like an infection through the members of SG-1 and those associated closely to them.

"Major Carter's work at Research and Development in the Nellis division has been quite forthcoming. However, some of her _enthusiasm_ for the subject matter at hand seems to have been diminished. As for SG-1, her position has been filled by a Dr. Rodney McKay. He is just as well versed in Stargate knowledge inside and out if not more so that Major Carter, seeing as he has had more time to study the device in comparison to Major Carter's former field work."

"About that…" The President cut Woolsey off. "I've got to admit I thought about that decision after I agreed to it. I was new and all if you hadn't noticed. But do you think it really needed to come down to that? I know it's been done, but would you say it has been for the best?" The president tapped the tips of his fingers together.

"I can't say that there has been much of a change either way. At least not one that can be measured yet. SG-1 is still going to need time to adjust to the addition of Dr. McKay in place of Major Carter, and Major Carter should soon slip into a rhythm of more production at R&D once she is also acclimated to her new position."

The President took his hands down and pulled them across his desk. "I got a call this morning. One I'm well aware that you haven't gotten any wind of seeing as you were flying here. A message from Dr. Weir."

Woolsey looked unsettled and readjusted his position in his chair for the first time since sitting down. "And?"

The conversation about the problems SG-1 was having and the newest information about possible alliance trouble with the Tok'Ra for the way they handled so called "rumors" set the conversation in a totally different direction.

* * *

She was surprised he hadn't run away from the situation. But she knew deep down that Jack O'Neill didn't run from anything accept himself. He had promised he wasn't going to leave her, and his truck parked a lot over proved that he hadn't.

Jack heard Sam open the door, set down her things, and proceed to find him sitting on the couch where it had all begun.

"We need to talk." They said in unison. But they weren't going to get that chance. Timing and circumstance was unmerciful to them as always.

There was an unexpected knock at the door. Sam was privy to ignore it, but it was followed swiftly by a ring and yet another knock when she made no attempt to answer it. Letting out a huff, Jack stood. His face rose no more than an inch or two from Sam's and he allowed one lingering glance between them before he himself went to answer the door and shoo away whoever was interrupting what could be one of the most important conversations of his life.

"Look, whatever it is…"

Jack was cut short by an astounded stare on Jacob Carter's face. Behind him, Daniel was muttering "Oh crap" and looking to the concrete as quickly as he could.

**

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**A/N: Thank you for reading. Apologies for the delay, but the death of a close family friend delayed this posting (prayers for her family are much appreciated).**


	15. Treading

**Treading**

"Dad, now is not the time!" Sam snapped. "We're adults if you haven't noticed; and we don't exactly lead normal lives."

As if I hadn't noticed, Samantha." Jacob bristled back. "But this is rather normal seeming circumstances that are downright childish when you think about it. Trying to act like nothing was happening…and I come down here…" Jacob's thoughts were racing. He'd been unstoppable since he'd barged past Jack and into the cluttered living space of Sam's Nevada apartment. Daniel was not in long before he decided to excuse himself to the restroom.

"I never thought you'd be such an idiot, but obviously Jack wore off on you in more ways than I'd ever like to even consider."

"Now hold on," Jack interjected. "Nothing happened." A quick reconsidering glance failed to reach Sam in time as words did what they so often did with Jack O'Neill, and slipped right out. "We didn't do _anything_ before these accusations started."

The one additional word, before. That was all that it took. Sam's sinking glance made Jacob's stomach fall as too many flashes of her as a child and her career in jeopardy shuffled through his mind. They were soon joined by an image of Jack's unsuspecting face as the older man's balled fished struck it, knocking O'Neill down from the extra power of the Tok'Ra within. The Tok'Ra which now took over to restrain him.

* * *

"Jack? Jack, can you hear me?" One of the annoyance receptors was going off in Jack's head.

He didn't open his eyes but merely rubbed them with his hands. "What, Daniel?"

"Jack, I was in the bathroom for three minutes and came out to find Selmac apologizing on behalf of Jacob for overreacting. However, as well as I know you, you probably deserved it." Daniel helped Jack sit up. "So what did you say?"

A flash of the scene earlier reminded Jack of why he was probably going to have a black eye the next day and Sam and Jacob could be heard at a more rational tone down the hall. "I didn't _say_ anything, Daniel."

The man who spent a lifetime studying other people pinched his brow at the implication. Jack saw the gears turning in his friend's head before Daniel even cautiously and someone with reprimand asked, "What did you _do_?"

With no tone of innocence, Jack cocked his head and stood unaided. "Maybe it _was _something I said."

* * *

Cheyenne Mountain was short more than a small fraction of SG-1, but that didn't stop the message in Dr. Weir's hand that she now sat down with a mixture of trepidation and optimism from being directly related to them.

**FWD:**

**CC: Dr. Weir**

**After further consideration, the President has decided to reopen the case involving SG-1's recent assignment alterations, despite noted apprehension from Mr. Wolsey.**

**: Sect. Holland**

**Co. Wolsey**

* * *

**A/N: Retirement...is overrated. Graduating from college, is not :)**

**to one of my very best friends, ever, in the entire universe. Alicia, this is for you :D**


	16. Emotions

**Emotions**

"I need some coffee." It was obvious that Jacob had come back to his own control, but his actions showed that he was not necessarily ready to. "Sam…" He started to speak to his daughter but just shook his head at her before heading to the kitchen, obviously desiring to be alone.

Jack and Daniel heard him rummaging and silently made their way to where Sam was. It was like she had given up on life itself right where she stood. Jack alone knew the thoughts that had to be rushing through her mind, but even those thoughts didn't make any sense compared to the feelings of shame and guilt that weren't there before. What had they done? What had they been doing for years?

Sam's mind continued to argue to itself, oblivious of everything that was going on around her. "Why did I let it go this far?" "You're insane, what did you think would happen? Why did you even let him in the door?" "Why did I even look at him like that...ever….when…?" Time didn't make sense. The years had passed the point of mattering with them. They didn't matter between her and her father since their reconciliation, which was probably destroyed now. The years didn't matter between her and her team, at least the one she had had when things were right, because they were never normal. And years with Jack didn't matter because just thinking about him at this point had turned time into another issue that melted away into that place that no one can hope to describe when they are that lost in another.

"Sam, is Jacob okay?" Daniel knew his friend's father wasn't "okay" in the moment, but the issue was more if he was going to be okay.

"Does it look like it to you, Daniel? What are you even doing here?" She hadn't even looked up from her own self abuse going on in her mind. She spoke from far away in a place she'd never been before.

"We came to see you….Sam." He once again enforced his surprise at Jack's presence. "Apparently we weren't alone." Daniel, with some sort of undesired recognition began to turn towards Jack's morbid lingering presence. The room was dead after all; the emotions, the stares…and things were beginning to make sense. "How long have you been here Jack? Why didn't you invite the rest of us to come and see our _friend_ with you?"

"Why don't we leave the friend business out of this, Daniel." Jack growled. He knew when Daniel was onto something, and became even more irritated when all he did was hint at it. "People are allowed their privacy, whether you believe that or not. Ever heard of making a damn phone call?"

"You should have thought of that one." Sam pointed at him.

"Not now." Jack spat across Daniel who watched everything begin to unfold not only before him but in his mind. "I don't want to fight with you."

"How could you?" Daniel's voice was hurt and low but it was enough to cut through the tension in the room and turn it to ice. "All this time?" His feet pulled him to a point in the small room where he was able to stare down both Jack and Sam, ignoring the fact that Jacob was stirring near the further doorway. "We stood up for you. We did everything for you…" The we was apparent. Daniel often stood for himself and Teal'c…even the inclusion of Hammond and Jacob were beginning to mingle with the thoughts and emotions within him. "You made fools out of all of us."

"Daniel, it's not like that." Sam broke. She wanted to convince her friend, her confidant. She had every right to be hurt. She told herself she did, but the events of the past week began to break her heart and tears finally began to bleed across her face. "You weren't here."

"Obviously I would have been intruding…as it seems I am now." He puffed up. Hiding hurt and anger and doubt. "I think I'll be going." He raised his gaze. "Jacob, do you need a ride back?"

An empty cup at hand, Jacob walked with extreme purpose into the room. "Considering what I think I'm hearing, I'll say yes." He pushed the cup into Sam's hands and turned to Jack. "Consider the apology revoked." The two brushed past in a whirlwind that was so fast, neither heard the cup break as it slid out of Sam's hands as they left the front door ajar.

Jack walked the few feet over to where Sam was standing, silent tears growing with every second. His shoes crunched on the broken porcelain as the smell of coffee began to fill the air around them. He barely had her in his arms when she finally spoke. "I think you should get packed." She pulled back with a gentle force and went to get a broom and pan.


End file.
